Bleached Ice
by DolphinWhisperer
Summary: An argument between Ichigo and Renji erupts and the only way to resolve it is with... hockey! Who will be on the teams? Which team will win it? Read and find out! Possible OOC, implied HisagixIsane, no other pairings except random teasing between the guys
1. Chapter 1

Hello! First timer DolphinWhisperer here, just wanting to share this story I've been working on for a while. Of course, being a college student, studies come first, but when classes are out of the way and writer's block is nonexistent, I'll do my best to update the story on a semi-regular basis, i.e. when I have more to upload. Hope you like it! Reviews are welcome, but if you criticize, please be nice. I don't take well to flames, pretty though they are.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach or its characters, though I would like to have the honor, as well as many other people in this world.I also do not own the idea of this story - that honor goes to my mother - but I do own the fleshing out of said idea, and since she gave me the idea to work with, it's close enough. :)

**Warnings: **Takes place before/during arrancar arc. Possible spoiler warning. May be off-canon and possibly OOC. Will most likely have small references to Regression, my mom's story, later on (go read it, it's awesome - Barbellenel is the name).

* * *

-Chapter 1-

Fresh snow crunched underneath the feet of the Hollow hunting crew as they left the school grounds, happy to be done with classes for the day. The usual group consisted of Ichigo Kurosaki, Uryuu Ishida, Orihime Inoue, and Yasutora "Chad" Sado, but lately they had some Shinigami visitors. Toushirou Hitsugaya and Rangiku Matsumoto (Captain and Vice Captain of Squad Ten), along with Ikkaku Madarame and Yumichika Ayasegawa (third and fifth seats of Squad Eleven), Renji Abarai (Vice Captain of Squad Six), and Rukia Kuchiki (from Squad Thirteen) had come to assist the group in protecting Karakura Town from the arrancar threat.

As the humans and shinigami walked, they chatted amiably amongst themselves. They all relaxed on the way home, since their cell phones and badges hadn't gone off and no one sensed any change in reiatsu in the area. For the sake of entertainment, they poked fun at each other occasionally, at someone else's expense. As Ichigo, Renji, Ikkaku, and Yumichika argued about who had the best zanpakutou and Ishida once again suggesting that Quincy were better than Shinigami, Chad and Hitsugaya walked in silence with hands in pockets while Rukia, Rangiku, and Orihime gossiped in the back.

During a break in their conversation, Rukia remembered something. She excused herself and found her way to Renji. Managing to get his attention, surprisingly, she dug around in her bag and handed him an eraser.

"Thanks for letting me borrow it, Renji. I really wish I knew where my Chappy the rabbit one went to."

Ichigo started, but quickly muffled it with a cough.

"Yea, anytime," Renji answered, looking at her intently, as if deep in thought. Suddenly he reached forward and pulled her into a gentle embrace.

"I'm so glad you're safe, Rukia," he said. 

Rukia was stunned. "Renji…"

"If you hadn't been saved from execution," his grip on her tightened considerably, "I don't know what I would've done…" 

"Renji… You're… choking… me…"

He looked up at Ichigo. "Thanks for savin' her."

"Of course," Ichigo said smugly. "_I_ save my friends, unlike _some_ people."

Renji let a purple Rukia go catch her breath with the girls and pointed at Ichigo. "Hey, had you not beaten me, I would've tried to save her eventually and gotten my ass kicked! I never could've beaten Captain Kuchiki at the level I was then. But it's a different story now!"

"Yea, instead of releasing Zabimaru at a moment's notice, you now have a giant bald snake bankai to fall back on," Ichigo retorted.

"Hey, I resent that comment!" Ikkaku protested.

"Yea, but you represent it more," Yumichika told him.

"Face it, Renji. You're losing your edge. I bet even Orihime could beat you with her eyes closed, and we all know she's not really a fighter."

"All the better to show you that we Quincy are superior to Shinigami."

"Can it, four-eyes! How does that prove that at all?"

"He does have a small point though. It seems like our world makes better Shinigami and more powerful humans than the Seireitei does. The four of us ended up doing all the dirty work and saving the day, plus beating all of you to a pulp," Ichigo boasted.

"That's not true at all!" Renji argued. "Yea, we lost the fights against you guys, but the 'better Shinigami' comment isn't right at all. You should try some of the stuff we have to learn in the academy before becoming full fledged Shinigami. I'd like to see you try some kidou for once instead of relying on your life-sized butcher knife."

"Hey, when I got my Shinigami powers, I didn't have much training but I still managed to chop things up, and I've gotten a hell of a lot better at it. I don't need any skills like shooting pink lights out of my fist. Zangetsu is all I need."

"So then you agree that we're better than you." Renji smirked.

"Not at all. I'm saying I'm better 'cause I can actually swing a sword."

"Hey, I know how to use my zanpakutou too!"

"Flailing your stretched out sword doesn't count."

"Why you…" Renji started towards Ichigo, fists ready, but Chad caught him and held him back while Toushirou gave him the 'move and I'll kill you' look.

Ichigo gave him a haughty smirk and turned to walk away. "Earth wins."

Still itching for a fight, Renji yelled after him, "I'm not done with you yet, Strawberry!"

Ichigo stopped in his tracks and turned around with the death glare plastered on his face. "You wanna go, Cactus Head? Fine. Let's have a little fun, shall we?" he growled.

The girls caught up to them. Orihime and Rukia went to Ichigo and Renji to try and calm them down.

"You two aren't supposed to fight each other," Orihime sighed.

"What good is it to Karakura Town if you're too busy fighting each other to dispose of a Hollow?" Rukia scolded.

"As much as I'd like to see it, they have a point," Ishida mused. "Instead of making a scene and having a fist fight on the sidewalk, why don't you find some other way to settle things?"

Yumichika headed off the small crowd that had surrounded them. "Alright people, nothing to see here, except me of course. Unless you want autographs, get moving. Go on! Go!" he said, waving his arms to shoo them and occasionally posing.

"Alright, I'm game. Anything to shut him up." Renji glared at Ichigo.

"Same here. Maybe then I can finally prove my point." Ichigo returned it.

"So how are you gonna duke it out, then?" Ikkaku asked, disappointed that he didn't get to see a decent fight just then.

"I have an idea!" Rangiku piped up. "We could see how fast it takes you two to undress, and-"

"No!" Toushirou interjected. "Moving on. Any other _sane_ ideas?"

The group was quiet, thinking of good ways for the pair to have it out without exposing things and making white haired captains blush.

Renji looked around for any clues and spotted a sign stapled to a telephone pole. He took one look at it and knew it was the answer.

"Hockey."

"What?"

"Hockey. Let's settle things that way."

"Renji, do you even know what hockey is?"

"I think I get the gist of it. You just whack the rubber biscuit and make it go in the red box on the ice. And from the looks of that poster, it looks pretty violent. Sounds like my kind of game," he said, grinning evilly.

"True, but you also have to move with special shoes with metal on the bottom," Rukia stated. "From what I've heard of this 'skating,' it doesn't sound too easy."

"I don't care, I've made up my mind," Renji said stubbornly.

"Okay then, Brick for Brains, we'll play hockey. We'll gather some people for each team and train. Let's meet a week from now at the rink. But let me warn you; martial arts aren't the only thing I've been practicing since I was little," Ichigo told him, the smirk returning.

As the group split and Chad finally let go of him to go home, Renji took one look at Rukia and gulped.

* * *

If you like it so far, let me know by clicking the little button on the bottom left corner there. ;) 


	2. Chapter 2

Dolphin here! Thank you for reading! These next chapters go well together and since I was well enough ahead, I figured I'd put up both of them at once. Ichigo and friends won't return until Chapter 4, but it shouldn't be long before I post it. Keyword "shouldn't". You all probably know how classes are, so it might not get up right away. FYI, this is going to be a LONG story. I've hit 6 chapters and I'm still not to the game part, but I will be soon. ;) Anyway, enough of my rambling. Enjoy!

Reviews are welcome, but if you criticize, please be nice. I don't take well to flames, pretty though they are.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach or its characters... sigh.

**Warnings: **Takes place before/during arrancar arc. Possible spoiler warning. May be off-canon and possibly OOC. Will most likely have small references to Regression, my mom's story, later on (go read it, it's awesome - Barbellenel is the name).

* * *

-Chapter 2-

"Please?"

"No."

"May I ask why?"

"I said no and I meant no. Now get out before I send my newest creation after you!" Mayuri screeched.

"Yes sir, I'm gone!"

Renji scuttled out of the Research Department, checked to make sure nothing was following him, and sighed. Ever since the challenge started between him and Ichigo about which world was better, he had spent every waking moment that wasn't devoted to duty trying to recruit souls to join his makeshift hockey team. He managed to convince the other shinigami in the living world to join in, and even got permission from Hitsugaya to return to the Seireitei and recruit, so long as he made sure not to "desert the innocent shinigami and make them do the cleanup." 

Since he got back, he asked for help from anyone who would listen to him, but not many would agree to something they knew basically nothing about. The only one who actually joined so far was Momo Hinamori. He had asked her on a whim but hadn't expected her to join since she was still not quite there mentally and didn't seem the type. But, when she told him, "What the heck, I have nothing better to do, count me in," he didn't complain at all.

"Well, Captain Kurotsuchi's out. Who can I pester next?"

He soon realized he had forgotten two people that he could annoy into doing anything. He flash stepped his way over to the Ninth Squad barracks, where he knew at least one of them would be.

His face radiated hope as he spotted both Vice Captains sitting in the Captain's office drinking coffee.

"Hisagi! Kira! Just the guys I wanted to see!"

The pair looked up, saw the gleam in Renji's eyes, and immediately knew it was trouble.

"Uh, hi Renji. What are you doing back so soon?" Kira asked, hopeful that would deter him.

"Yea, weren't you supposed to be in the living world with Ikkaku and the others?" Hisagi asked, slightly nervous but trying not to show it.

"Well, I was, but then something came up…"

"As usual."

Renji ignored the comment. "Listen, I need your help."

"What did you do now? Don't tell me I have to go deliver some random body part to Captain Unohana for her extra organ collection again. Last time you used that 'I'm squeamish' excuse on me, I almost had something cut off and would've needed impromptu surgery," Kira shuddered.

"No, it's not like that this time."

"Key word, THIS time," Hisagi told Kira, who nodded.

"Come on, cut me some slack, guys. I need your amazing powers and expertise to help me settle an argument."

"Lord, save us, he's bustin' out the big words," Kira breathed as he took a swig of coffee.

Renji shot him a warning glare. "Guys, come on, this is serious. Ichigo and I got into an argument…"

"More like lover's quarrel," Hisagi mumbled to Kira, who nearly sprayed a coffee geyser.

"…and he told me that the living world is better because they have more powerful people there. He even said that Orihime could beat me blindfolded."

"I'd like to see that. Quality entertainment," Kira commented.

"Really though, Renji, why is this so important to you? Why not just drop it like normal people would? It's just a silly argument," Hisagi stated.

"No, it's not. I want to prove to that fruit that we grow the better shinigami through hard training, and that real shinigami don't just rely on their zanpakutou."

"And how are you going to do that?"

"That's where you guys come in. I need people to join my hockey team."

The pair looked at each other and burst into hysterical laughter.

"Come on, I need your help with this. It's not even going to be a regular hockey game. We agreed that we could use our zanpakutous, kidou spells, special powers, and our shikai. The only time we use a real hockey stick is if someone doesn't have a sword or something to use, like Ishida. Since we're not used to sticks, it'll be easier to hit the thing with our weapons, and I really need your whacking skills."

The two Vice Captains drowned him out with their mirth.

Losing most of his cool by now, Renji gave in to one of the few things that he used as a very last resort – bribery.

"Please help me, guys. Listen, Kira, I'll go deliver those packages to Unohana myself and will take all dismemberment as it comes. And Hisagi, I'll keep you stocked on coffee for a month, 'cause I know how fast you go through the stuff. Sound good?"

Hisagi stopped his chuckling. It wasn't every day that Renji bribed either of them, especially with coffee. It was true that he went through a lot of coffee in a week, let alone a month. It took a good chunk out of his paycheck constantly, but if it kept him happy and prevented everyone from getting something ripped off when he woke up, then it was worth it. He couldn't miss this chance. "Make it three months and you got yourself a player."

Kira had the same thought processes Hisagi did. "Count me in as well, as long as you hold up your end of the bargain. It was your job in the first place. I still don't know how you managed to get me to do that for you. I knew you were faking it."

Hisagi couldn't resist. He looked at Renji. "You get that a lot, don't you?"

Renji whiffed both their heads as he turned to walk out. "Come on, guys. We gotta gather some more people to play, and I need all the help I can get.


	3. Chapter 3

I have way too much fun torturing these guys. 0:)

Reviews are welcome, but if you criticize, please be nice. I don't take well to flames, pretty though they are.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach or its characters... Though it would be fun to kidnap a few of them, and I know what I would do, too... ... Tickle fight :D

**Warnings: **Takes place before/during arrancar arc. Possible spoiler warning. May be off-canon and possibly OOC. Will most likely have small references to Regression, my mom's story, later on (go read it, it's awesome - Barbellenel is the name).

* * *

-Chapter 3-

"So, who do we hit up next? I'm on a roll!"

"Damn, Shu. How do you do it? I asked practically everyone in the Seireitei, even Captain Kuchiki, and he denied me. Then I bring you along, you work your magic, and somehow the Captain agreed to it! What's the deal? And you got Isane to join in too! How do you do it?" Renji asked, stunned.

"I knock 'em out hard and fast with my charm before they even know what hit 'em," Hisagi replied with a wink.

"Not just your charm…" Kira mumbled.

"Like I said, who do we wanna get now?"

"Why don't we try and get the harder of two out of the way, and get the easier one afterwards?" Renji stated.

"And who's that?"

"Captain Zaraki."

Kira collapsed with an "eep" high enough to make an opera singer scream in agony.

"We should just start writing out our wills right now, Renji. It's a crazy idea and there's no doubt in my mind that he'll murder us before even thinking about doing this!" he wailed.

Hisagi pulled Kira back up off the ground. "Though I'm not usually one to wimp out, he has a point. Maybe we should back off of that idea."

Renji was firm. "We'll never know until we try. Come on."

He led a reluctant Kira and Hisagi to Squad Eleven's barracks, where he found Zaraki training his men as usual.

Zaraki looked over and saw them visiting, so he told his men to stop for a second. Groans resounded through the building.

Zaraki marched over to the trio and laughed. "Well well, a bunch of Vice Captains come to train with us, eh?" The men joined in his laughter. Zaraki held up his hand and the laughter died immediately.

Kira and Hisagi stayed back warily. Renji stepped up.

"No, Captain. Actually, I was hoping that you would be willing to help me settle an argument using a violent game from the living world."

Zaraki thought for a second. "Hmm, a _violent_ game, huh? Sounds like fun."

"And also, Ichigo will be opposing us."

"Even better – violence, and a chance to fight him again. Count me in."

Kira and Hisagi's mouths dropped to the basement.

"Well, sir, if you don't mind, I'd like to start training in the real world as soon as I find one more person. Is that a problem, Captain?" Renji asked.

"Not at all," Zaraki replied. "Yachiru, I'm leaving the men to you." 

A few "uh oh's" could be heard amongst the worried whispering.

"Make sure they train hard, and don't forget to come see the game… when?"

"Saturday," Renji informed.

"Saturday it is. See you then, Yachiru, and don't forget to yell loud," Zaraki told her.

"You can count on me, Kenny. I'll be the loudest one there!" Yachiru squealed.

As she went off to murderously drill the men on training, Zaraki turned to the three Vice Captains.

"I'll be waiting for this entertaining game of yours. Don't make me wait long, and don't disappoint me."

"Yes, sir. Thank you for your participation," Renji said with a small bow.

As they left the barracks, Kira regained his composure. "Well, that was easy."

Renji glared at him. "Easy for who? I was the one doing all the talking! You both cowered behind me the entire time, you pansies!"

"Can you blame me? You've at least had experience talking to the man; you were in Squad Eleven for a time. Me? I stay away for fear of having my head paraded around on a pole," Kira replied.

"Okay, who's the last on the list?" Hisagi asked, choosing to ignore the last exchange of words.

"Follow me," Renji said. "Trust me, he won't be hard to find."

After some flash stepping, the trio found their way to the West Rukongai Gate. Renji started hunting around, tapping on the walls, searching the ground, with a confused Kira and Hisagi watching.

It suddenly clicked. Just as Kira and Hisagi muttered "It can't be…" in unison, Renji shouted to the sky. "Jidanbou!"

A small pause, and then a loud cry was heard as the giant axe-wielding Gatekeeper fell from the sky. He landed on his feet with a thud, the ground crumbling beneath the shinigami epicenter.

"What'd you call me for? You all know you have free reign when it comes to passing through here," Jidanbou stated.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you. Got any free time to spare this week?"

"What a dumb question. Of course not. Have you forgotten I'm a Gatekeeper? I'm on duty 24/7. Though, not much happens anymore, really. Ichigo and his friends coming through twice was the most entertainment I've had in 300 years…"

"Well, I need to settle an argument with him, and I'm getting people to help me. You sure it won't work out somehow?" Renji asked.

"Sadly, yes. I'd love to see the spiky head again, as well as his nice group of friends, but I can't leave here."

"Not even to go to the living world?"

"No… But man, would I love to go there…"

"If you weren't stuck here, would you consider it?" Renji queried.

"Of course. I'd help you in an instant if I were allowed to leave," Jidanbou said sullenly.

Renji thought for a second. "What if we could find someone to take your place and guard the Gate, just until Saturday?"

"It might work," Jidanbou said, "but who would be willing to do that?"

"Don't worry about that small detail. I've got it covered," Renji told him.

"Okay then, I'm in. By the way, what did I just agree to?"

"You're gonna help me settle an argument with Ichigo by using a sport called hockey. You're going to be our red box protector."

"That sounds an awful lot like what I've been doing nonstop for the past 300 years…" Jidanbou sighed. "Ah well. Too late to say no now."

Renji turned to Hisagi and Kira. They nodded at each other, summoned hell butterflies, and sent them to the others, letting them know where to rendezvous so they could go to the living world.

"Alright, you two! Let's go train!"

Kira leaned over to Hisagi. "Since when can he tell us what to do?"

"Since we gave him our souls until Saturday in exchange for bribes."

"Good point," Kira commented. "But just because this was his idea doesn't mean I'm going to let him boss me around."

"Kira, send another round of butterflies telling the others to bring their zanpakutous, will you?"

"Yes sir."


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry it took so long, everyone. I've had a massive case of writer's block, but as far as I can tell, it's gone now. :) This chapter is all about Ichigo and the human team. A few surprises are thrown in, too...

Reviews are welcome, but if you criticize, please be nice. I don't take well to flames, pretty though they are.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach or its characters. I simply borrow them in an attempt to satisfy my sadistic ways... not.

**Warnings: **I've mentioned it 3 times already. If you haven't gotten it by now, look back a chapter. ;)

* * *

-Chapter 4-

Once Renji, Hisagi, and Kira found substitute Gatekeepers to fill in for Jidanbou, the Shinigami team went to the real world to train. They had a lot to accomplish before Saturday, including learning how to skate on ice, using sticks (or in their case, zanpakutous) to send the puck around the ice in certain directions, and checking people into walls, although that skill didn't seem too difficult to master.

Meanwhile, the Human team gathered at a frozen pond to skate around and get some ice time as a team before the big game. Ichigo, Chad, and Ishida arrived first, followed by Kisuke Urahara, Yoruichi Shihouin, Jinta Hanakari, and Ururu Tsumugiya. Orihime found them next and stayed, despite Ichigo's concerned protests, and Karin Kurosaki, Ichigo's sister, turned up last.

Except for Urahara and his crew, who hadn't been in the living world that long, most of them knew how to skate. Only those who needed more practice were required to be out on the ice for most of the time; the rest of them who felt confident enough were still required to brush up on their skills but were allowed to sit out after a bit. Ichigo, serving as their team captain since he got them all into this mess, was constantly on the ice, playing skating teacher where needed and making sure the team as a whole was improving.

Seeing that nobody needed him at the moment, he found Karin making laps around the pond. She was moving fast so it took him a bit of effort to catch up to her.

"Gee, Karin, could you go any faster? You're really bookin' it," he commented, slightly winded.

"Seriously? I didn't think I was going that fast," she replied. She slowed down considerably so they could talk easier.

Ichigo matched her pace. "Thanks for slowing down, and just being here in general. I know it was an unexpected favor…"

"Don't mention it. I'm here to help you, brother. Just don't forget this when I come to you asking for a new soccer ball once my old one breaks. It has a new leak and has taken quite a beating," Karin told him.

"Alright," Ichigo said with a small sigh. _Okay, that's the last time I resort to bribery with Karin. It used to be so easy before. Now I have to buy her things…_

"Plus, I like your Shinigami friends," she continued. "Sure, the whole concept is still a little new to me, but since I knew you could see spirits, it's not so bad. I just hope that the other team doesn't play hockey well, 'cause I know Toushirou is amazing at soccer…"

"We'll be fine. I don't think a lot of them have seen natural sheets of ice, let alone skated on them."

"I sure hope so."

Ichigo saw something move out of the corner of his eye. He stopped, grabbed Karin protectively, and spun around to see someone he desperately didn't want to see strutting towards them.

"Looks like we're in for a treat," Ichigo muttered sarcastically.

Meandering along like he owned the land itself, the man approaching them exuded an air that screamed "I get beat up by children." The black cape billowing behind him was attached to the lumpy shoulders of a black jacket with white fur lining. A long blue shirt was visible underneath, held in place by a red and white belt above black pants. A hat with white fur topped his black dreadlocked head, while a black cane with a white winged tip swung precariously from his right hand.

Yes, Don Kanonji was an odd bird indeed.

Karin snuck away from Ichigo as Kanonji approached, leaving him to deal with what was inevitably to come. And sure enough…

Kanonji carefully made his way onto the ice and stopped in front of Ichigo in a "confident" stance. "Smells like bad spirits!" He crossed his arms over his chest and threw his head back. "Bwahah-ACK!" he sputtered as a boot collided with the back of his head. The impact threw him off-balance, face-planting him into the ice.

"Nice one, Karin," Ichigo commented as his sister retrieved her boot.

She threw her boot back to its mate. "Well, I would've kicked him like I usually do but that would've caused a problem, considering there's metal on my foot."

"I wouldn't have complained."

Kanonji flopped on the ice like a fish as he struggled to get up. He eventually resigned himself to sitting on the ice, despite the cold. He looked up at Karin.

"Nicely performed. Just what I would expect from Karakura Red!" he complimented. His head dropped suddenly. "Unfortunately, it seems people have lost even more interest in Spirit Hunter. Either it's gone out of style or I need some serious training!"

"Or you could just leave the country," Ichigo mumbled.

"What are you kids doing? Some sort of intense training for battling evil spirits?"

"Eh, something like that," Ichigo sneered, thinking of someone.

At a rink somewhere in Karakura, a red-headed Vice Captain unexpectedly sneezed on the haori of his irritated and disgusted Captain.

"Could the fabulous Don Kanonji help you train? I need to boost ratings somehow- I mean, get more young kids into the idea of spirits and this would help me get a feel for what the crowd is looking for."

Ichigo sighed. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but… yes, you can join us. But, the only reason I'm agreeing to this is because we're lacking numbers, so while you're with us, you follow our orders. Got it?"

"Uh, yes sir. I'll do anything to get my ratings back."

"Good. Your first order is to shut up, put some skates on, and skate around the pond. We're playing a hockey game in about a week, so you better get used to the idea of cold and pain."

"… Okay…" Kanonji said nervously as he crawled carefully off the ice to find some skates.

Ichigo thought about the last twenty-four hours. He had found a makeshift hockey team, convinced the Urahara shop crew to help and learn to skate in the process, and had succeeded in getting his team to move around on the ice decently, aside from the stragglers. However, he still had to teach them how to handle their weapon of choice (or a regular hockey stick, if their powers wouldn't suffice), make sure that they could score, and see that the goalie could actually block the puck. Also on the list was checking, what to do in a fight, and what not to do to avoid penalties. With the sight of Don Kanonji falling on his face as soon as he stepped on the ice, Ichigo realized that a mouse in a pit of vipers had a better chance than they did.

Karin followed Ichigo's gaze to the crackpot "bwahaha"-ing at the ice. "This is going to be a long week."

Ichigo turned to his sister and sighed. "We're doomed."


	5. Chapter 5

Hello all! Dolphin is back with a new chapter! :D I enjoyed writing this chapter, despite the lack of action. Doesn't mean it's unimportant, though. Hope you like it!

Reviews are welcome, but if you criticize, please be nice. I don't take well to flames, pretty though they are.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach or its characters, though I wish I did, if nothing else, to have Don Kanonji punted. ... And maybe give Kira and Hisagi some more air time. 0:)

**Warnings: **I've mentioned it 4 times already. Hence, I'm going to stop mentioning now. If you need a reminder, look at the first 3 chapters. :)

* * *

-Chapter 5-

Ichigo considered it a major success. In two days he had managed to teach his team the basics of puck handling and how to avoid pointless penalties. He was confident in his team's knowledge and was sure they could practice on their own without needing much help from him. The only one that still seemed to be having issues worth noting was Don Kanonji. Having never skated before, he was still very wobbly and had yet to try puck handling, which, unfortunately for Ichigo, meant one on one time to try and get the guy to whack the puck with his cane instead of leaning on it. But at the moment, he had more important things to attend to, like finding uniforms for his team.

He skated around their practice pond, looking for someone who would be able to help out, and spotted Orihime off to the side, resting her feet for a few minutes. He glided over to her and sat down.

"Hey, Orihime. Doing well with skating?"

"I sure am! I've known how to skate since I was little, so it's not a problem for me at all," she smiled.

"That's good," Ichigo said. He paused awkwardly, debating whether to ask or not. "Uh, Orihime…"

She turned to look at him, curious. "What is it, Ichigo?"

"I was wondering… Do you know how to sew?"

"That's an odd question. Well, I guess I can sew. I don't do it very often though. Why?"

"Because I need someone to come up with uniforms for our team. I have shirts and helmets ready, I just need a design for them. Think you can help?"

Orihime's face fell. "Sorry, Ichigo, but I'm not good at making designs. Anytime I try to make one thing, it always turns out as something else. I can ask around, though."

"Thanks, that would help a lot," Ichigo replied.

At that moment, Ishida skated past them. Orihime called out to him.

"Hey, Uryuu, you're good at sewing. Would you be able to make a design for our team uniforms?"

Ichigo's jaw dropped. _I don't want to owe him a favor for this!_ "I-I meant someone else, not him!"

"Normally I would, but since _someone_ has been running us ragged, I haven't been able to practice like I usually do. The fabric wouldn't look nearly as good as usual. Plus, using this hockey stick has made my hands blister. Find someone else." He turned and skated away.

Ichigo glared at Ishida's back, hiding his shattered hope. Despite being Ichigo's rival, Ishida was his friend, though Ichigo didn't like to admit it, and would usually step in to help him. It seemed he was wrong in thinking that way this time, though, and it was a shame, since Ichigo knew that the uniforms would've looked amazing. Ichigo drooped as he let out a worried sigh. Orihime noticed his reaction and turned to him.

"Don't worry about a thing, Ichigo. I've got it covered. I'll ask around and find someone who can help us," she told him confidently.

"Thanks, Orihime," Ichigo said, relieved. "Now, let's get back out there and practice some more."

-- ブリ一チ --

Rukia opened her phone. She was very grateful to Renji for showing her how to access the text message feature that, up until a few weeks ago, she didn't know existed. She sent a response back to her friend, agreeing to the task, and closed her phone. Letting her imagination run wild, she started putting her ideas on paper. She was going to be very busy these next few days.

Yesterday, Renji had sneaked up to her during breaks in ice time and asked if she would know someone who would make a special design for them to wear to make them stand out from the humans. He had mentioned that he wanted it to be a surprise for the team, since they put so much work into this, and that if she said a word to any of them, he would handcuff her to her brother and swallow the key. She had promised him secrecy and told him that she would find someone – she just didn't specify that it would be her. That, on top of the practices, and now double the workload, meant she wasn't going to get much sleep these next few days. _But it's worth it_, she thought to herself.

"Hey Rukia, break time's over. Come back out here. We have a lot more to do yet!" Renji yelled from the ice.

"Coming!"

Renji turned to the rest of his team. He was proud of them, since none of them had been on ice before besides Toushirou and Rukia, given their zanpakutous. They were doing pretty well, though most were still pretty shaky. Their puck handling skills had improved as well, though not to the level that he would have liked. Checking, the act of body slamming the other team's members into the wall, was the best skill they had so far, and even that had its moments. Many were still failing at certain tasks, and he could tell that they were getting sick of it.

"I'm getting sick of this!" Ikkaku growled as he regained his composure after falling for the umpteenth time.

Zaraki simply growled and choosing not to move so he wouldn't fall again, leaned on his sword, which was impaled deeply into the ice.

"I know it doesn't seem like we're getting very far, but we really are. You guys have improved tremendously since we started training," Renji told them.

"Yeah right," Kira whined. "The only thing we've gotten better at is falling."

"My ass is all bruised," Yumichika complained. "Granted, they're colorful bruises, but still…"

"Why did we agree to this again?" Hisagi wondered. "Oh yeah, coffee bribe."

"Stop complaining, all of you. It's very immature," Byakuya ordered.

"I don't really see what's so hard about skating. Do you, Captain Hitsugaya?" Rukia asked.

"Not really," he replied.

"You two are also used to ice. The rest of us aren't, unless we slip on your shikai," Rangiku stated. "Besides, even you two have your moments."

"Okay, enough!" Renji shouted. "I know the odds are against us, but with the way you've been improving, there's no doubt in my mind that we can win this. We just need more practice is all. Now, go to it! You know what you need to do!"

The team slipped and tripped away to practice skating, puck handling, and checking.

"Don't lose hope, everyone," Renji called out. "Just be confident that you can do it, and you can succeed!"

He looked around hopefully, checking the progress. About a quarter of the team was still falling every 5 strides. Another quarter couldn't make their zanpakutou hit the puck in the right direction, if at all. Those who could do decently at either skating or shooting and were trying both at once were failing miserably. Zaraki decided to take his frustration out on the goalpost, while Kira flipped himself into the penalty box while attempting to check Hisagi into the wall. Several pucks they had acquired were flying every which way, including straight up, getting caught in the ceiling netting. Ikkaku and Yumichika had given up for the time being and decided to have a little fun, sword fighting with a couple of hockey sticks they had found in the locker room.

Renji hung his head. "We're doomed."


	6. Chapter 6

Hello all! Sorry for the wait; writer's block and I have become good friends lately, but I'm trying to break it off easy. I know it seems like it's taking a long time getting to the game, but it is coming, I promise. Besides, getting there is half the fun, am I right? Anyway, I love this chapter, and I hope you do too. Enjoy!

Reviews are welcome, but if you criticize, please be nice. I don't take well to flames, pretty though they are.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach or its characters, but oh the chaos I could create if I did... :) Just kidding. (insert evil laugh here)

* * *

-Chapter 6-

With a day left to train before the big showdown, the Shinigami team was finally getting the hang of things. Most of them had at least semi-perfected their puck handling, but skating still proved to be their downfall. Though falling was becoming less of an every minute occurrence, several permanent dents in the ice showed where plenty of butt-to-ice collisions still occurred. Unfortunately, one of, if not the biggest problem they still had to conquer, was steering. Except for a few of them, the shinigami had learned how to skate in a straight line decently, with falling kept to a minimum. When it came to turning quickly, or even slightly, the success plummeted and falling skyrocketed.

Of course there were exceptions to this. Yumichika took to direction very well once he figured out how to stay on his feet. When he wasn't practicing shooting, he could be seen doing spins galore, though usually in one spot since he still hadn't mastered how to move and spin at the same time.

Kira also picked up on it pretty well and was one of the best skaters on the team. If you didn't know any better, you might think that he had skated many times before(1). Unfortunately for him, gravity liked to play tricks on him, so quite often when he got the slightest bit distracted, he found himself flailing his arms for balance one moment and colliding with a wall the next. Since it became such a common occurrence, those who saw tended to rate that collision based on the LOG, or Lack of Gracefulness scale, resulting in a very pink Kira hanging his head in shame.

The other shinigami hadn't quite worked it out yet, however. Despite their bragging, Rukia and Hitsugaya weren't that much better at skating than the others. In passing, Isane heard them talking about how they hadn't spent much time trying to walk on the ice that their zanpakutous created, and that skating was "much more difficult than expected." But by far the worst skater on the team was Ikkaku. He had improved tremendously since they started training - instead of falling every second, he was falling every ten seconds – but it still wasn't enough. That's why, when Renji put their people in positions during a recent practice, he put Ikkaku on defense. At least that way his falling would help block the goal.

With the last practice starting up, Renji held his hopes high. If he didn't, then he was almost certain that he'd fall apart. The stress of putting a makeshift hockey team together and trying to teach them how to play was really affecting him. He was about to check the wall just to relieve some of the pressure when a high-pitched outburst startled him. He spun around to see Hinamori finishing a kidou incantation and sending a Red Flame Cannon straight at the glass panel of the wall. He skated up to her warily.

"Hey, Momo. Uh… How's it going?"

She turned to him cheerfully. "I'm doing just fine, Renji, thank you!"

"Is skating practice going well? Do you need my help for anything?"

"Nope, I'm just dandy," she replied, smiling. "Although, it would be nice if SOMEONE-" she turned and yelled at the glass, "-would leave me alone so I could skate without being watched! … Don't you yell at me when I'm talking to you! … Stop talking while I'm talking! … That's it! Now you're in for it! Red Flame Cannon!"

The spell hit the glass in the same area as before.

Renji was completely speechless. As Hinamori smiled and waved at him, then proceeded to fight with an unseen opponent, Renji skated away with a new perspective on things. _I don't care how bad it seems. I'm not going to think about it anymore, because that would lead to more stress, and whatever happens, I'm never going to fall low enough to argue with my own reflection._

Mentally refreshed, Renji decided to check up on the others. He found Byakuya first, and as he skated up, he watched his superior glide shakily to the goal Jidanbou guarded and lose his balance just before attempting to shoot the puck. His feet flew above his head as the usually graceful leader of the Kuchiki clan collapsed on the ice, sprawled out in an unusual position.

"Nice one, sir. I must say, that one deserves an eight on the LOG scale," Renji said, grinning, as he held a hand out to help up his disgruntled Captain.

Byakuya countered with the "don't-you-get-smart-with-me-boy" glare as he slowly got to his feet and brushed himself off.

Renji gulped. "Uhh… Pardon my rudeness, Captain Kuchiki!" He quickly retreated to talk to Jidanbou.

"Renji! How am I doing? Good, I hope," Jidanbou asked.

Renji looked up at the giant man. "You're doing just fine from what I can see. Looks like I picked the right person for the goalie position!"

"Hey, you never told me. Did you have any trouble finding a substitute gatekeeper for me?"

"No, it was easy, actually," Renji boasted. "I found two qualified people for the job who are powerful, well respected in the Soul Society, and work well together. It was very simple to convince them to help us out."

Jidanbou beamed. "Oh, good. A couple of high class citizens, then."

Renji smirked. "Yep, and a couple o' high class suckers."

-- ブリ一チ --

Back in the Soul Society by the West Rukongai Gate, Ganju Shiba and his sister Kuukaku simultaneously sneezed, a sign that someone was plotting against them.

"Great, someone has a vendetta against our clan again, sis," Ganju sniffed.

Kuukaku crossed her arms. "Stop being such a wuss, Ganju. We'll take care of them later. Right now we need to focus on protecting the gate."

"I still can't believe you gave up planning my birthday party for doing this, all because Renji bribed you with sake!"

She popped him upside the head. "Shut it! You didn't think I was going to keep it all for myself, did you? Besides, what moron _wouldn't _pass up a month's worth of free sake?"

He was about to retort, but she shushed him. "Look, Ganju, we have a job to do."

A stray soul from Rukongai wandered up to them. Ganju pulled out an explosive, ready to do battle, when Kuukaku moved in front of him. She closed her eyes, concentrating for a second, then shouted, "Get out of here, meathead!" with the scariest look and all the ferocity she could muster. Without a second thought, the soul ran away screaming.

"Aw man, you always take the fun ones!" Ganju whimpered. "I was completely ready to do battle, too! See?" He held up the firecracker.

"You idiot! Why'd you light it?!"

"I told you, I was ready for battle!"

"Quickly! Throw it before it-"

A loud and colorful explosion shook the Rukongai, a couple screams just barely audible amongst the din.

* * *

(1) This is a slight reference to my mother's story, Regression. If you haven't read it yet, I highly recommend it, because we have the same sense of humor. So, if you like my stuff, you'll love hers too. (I still die laughing in certain parts of her stories...)


	7. Chapter 7

Since you have waited so long and I got a decent bit done this time, I'm giving you an extra chapter free. (Next time you owe me a dollar... Just kidding.) Enjoy!

Reviews are welcome, but if you criticize, please be nice. I don't take well to flames, pretty though they are.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach or its characters, which, in a sick and twisted way, makes it easier to torture them. (I'd still love to own it though, but then again, who wouldn't?)

* * *

-Chapter 7-

Orihime closed her phone. After practicing skating and shooting some more, she had gone off to the side of the pond to take a break and noticed that she had a message saying the uniforms were ready. Since the game was tomorrow, both she and Ichigo had been getting anxious, hoping that they would be finished in time. She breathed a sigh of relief, grateful for the good news. Now all she had to do was tell Ichigo.

Orihime skated off to find him, which wasn't that hard nowadays. The orange-haired shinigami could always be found attempting to make Don Kanonji learn how to play the game and skate, which seemed to be a futile effort at this point. She glided up to him, the conversation between teacher and student growing louder as she approached.

"No, for the hundredth time, you hold it THIS way!"

"Like this?"

"NO! Ugh, this is hopeless. Okay, let's try skating again."

"Hey, nothing is impossible for Don Kanonji! Bwahah-AAAAH!"

"Come on, get up, you putz. In order for us to stand a chance, our weakest link at least needs to know how to skate decently."

"Hey now, who are you calling wea-AAAAAAH!"

"Case in point."

"Hi, Ichigo!"

Ichigo turned his attention to Orihime, glad for the distraction.

"Hey, Orihime. What's going on?"

"You'll be happy to hear this." He cocked an eyebrow. She continued. "I just got a message from my friend. She said the uniforms are done and she'll bring them tomorrow. She knows she has all the right measurements, so there shouldn't be a problem with the fit. She had some other obligations to take care of, otherwise she would've brought them over tonight. Plus, she wanted it to be a surprise and to see the look on your face. She's very proud of her designs and wants to see your reaction in person."

"Okay," Ichigo consented. "I'm glad they're done. That's one less weight off my shoulders. Just tell her to contact you when she's on her way, and we'll direct her from there."

Orihime smiled. "Of course. I'm glad I could help you out."

Ichigo let a small smile pass his lips. "Thank you, Orihime."

As she skated away, he turned his attention back to Kanonji, who was still attempting to stand back up. Ichigo yanked him onto his feet by the arm and scowled.

"Alright, you. This lack of learning is really pissin' me off, so unless you have a reasonable excuse for being so thick-headed, I better see some change here in the next few hours. Otherwise, your ratings are gonna be the last thing on your mind. Got it?"

Kanonji gulped. "Y-Yes sir!"

-- ブリ一チ --

With training over, the time for fun had finally arrived. Earlier that day, Renji had contacted Ichigo, and through an intense discussion filled with insults, they had decided to meet outside the Urahara shop. From there, the teams would discuss where to play.

Slowly, everyone gathered outside the shop, except Rukia, who was nowhere to be found. They couldn't wait for her anymore, so Renji and Ichigo gathered the crowd's attention.

"Okay, everyone. Where can we play?" Ichigo mused. "I thought of something last night that could be problematic. We need utilities in an actual rink, like the scoreboard, timer, and the zamboni. Where can we go that we can find those?"

"Oh, that's easy. The place we've been practicing in has that stuff," Renji said confidently.

Ichigo was in disbelief. "You found a place that has a zamboni?"

"That giant mechanical thing with the flaps in the back? Yeah, it has one."

"Great. Anyone opposed to going there then?" Ichigo asked the crowd.

Everyone was in agreement.

"Alright, Renji, lead the way," Ichigo said grudgingly, not happy that Renji had a one up on him.

The crowd of shinigami, humans, and other made their way to the hockey rink where the shinigami had practiced this past week.

"This is it," Renji boasted, looking back at Ichigo.

Ichigo and the other humans were dumbfounded.

"Since when does Karakura Town have a hockey rink?!"

Renji was stunned. "You mean you've lived in this town all your life and you didn't even know there was a, what'd you call it, a hockey rink here? Jeez, that should prove my point in the argument right there. At least we shinigami know what is where in our world!"

Urahara stepped in. "Might I suggest we save the fighting for the ice?"

They all took his hint and walked towards the rink.

Kira ran up to Urahara, something on his mind. "Hey Urahara, why are you playing for the humans? You're a shinigami, aren't you?"

Urahara shrugged. "I could've gone either way, but they got to me first and they needed the numbers."

As they entered the rink, the pungent smell of sweat and body odor hit them immediately.

"Oh, what _is_ that? It's completely rank!" Rangiku complained.

"It's the smell of hockey," Ichigo stated with a smirk.

Hisagi leaned over to Kira. "You'd think that after practicing in here for a week, she'd be used to it by now."

Ikkaku ran off to the left and dashed into one of the locker rooms. He emerged a second later with two hockey sticks and tossed one to Yumichika.

"Shall we pick up where we left off?" he asked Yumichika with a mischievous grin.

"Yes, let's," Yumichika replied with a handsome yet similarly mischievous grin.

Suddenly, the senkaimon gate appeared, separating the two duelists, and opened before the crowd. Rukia stepped out, carrying two giant bags, and as she walked toward them, the gate closed and disappeared.

"Sorry I'm late, everyone, but I was working on a major project." She walked up to Renji and Ichigo.

"Here, this one is for you, Ichigo." She handed him a bag.

"This one is yours, Renji."

The two shinigami opened their bags at the same time, both faces becoming marred with disbelief and shock, both voices completely speechless. Eventually they recovered enough to make their opinions known.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS??" they both exclaimed.

* * *

Hooray cliffhangers! I'm fighting with writer's block once again, so it might take me a little while to get chapters posted again, but I think I'm starting to win the war. We'll see how it goes.


	8. Chapter 8

Hi all, it's DolphinWhisperer again, and I bring you tidings of good chapter! I love this one, and I hope you do too. Enjoy!

Reviews are welcome, but if you criticize, please be nice. I don't take well to flames, pretty though they are.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach or its characters, unfortunately, but the ideas that come out of my brain are mine. :) (Feel free to "duh" at me.)

* * *

-Chapter 8-

Ichigo held up a helmet, jersey, and pant set. The jersey and helmet were a base color of deep sky blue with a cotton-candy-pink bunny and the word "Chappy" underneath it emblazoned on the front of the jersey and on the back of the helmet. The sleeves of the jersey were lined at the bottom with three inches of the same color pink, and on the back was the player name at the top and then the number they chose, once again in pink. The pants were based in that cotton candy pink as well, with a sky blue stripe on each side of the leg. The words "Soul Candy" showed in blue on the rear.

Renji held up a similar set, made in the same style. The jersey and helmet were a minty green base with a post-it-note-yellow duck and the word "Yuki" underneath plastered on the jersey front and the back of the helmet. Once again, the sleeves were lined, only with the post-it yellow this time, and the back held the name and number in yellow. The yellow pants had a green stripe on the legs, and the word "Quackers" glistened annoyingly in the minty green color on the rear.

Everyone gasped and took a step back.

"They're our team uniforms," Rukia said proudly. "I worked really hard on these, so I hope you like them."

Confusion consumed Ichigo. _But, there's someone else coming with real uniforms! This can't be right. Wait, Orihime would've been contacted already if that were the case… _It suddenly clicked. "No way! _You're_ the one who Orihime contacted?!"

Rukia simply smiled.

Ichigo was flabbergasted. He looked down at the uniform. "You gotta be kidding me! We can't wear _these_ during a hockey game! They're too… cutesy!"

Renji agreed. "Normally I like your style, Rukia, but this just doesn't work for a hockey game."

Ichigo held out a sleeve. "Pink?? I don't do pink! It's not designed for guys!"

"At least yours compliments you! My ass is not 'Quackers', thank you very much!" Renji complained.

"Oh, come on, they're nice uniforms," Rukia chided. She turned to the others. "Right, guys?"

Everyone showed a look of disdain, disgust, or embarrassment, except for two people.

"Those are adorable, Rukia!" Orihime gushed.

"I wish I could be on the Chappy team," Rangiku whimpered.

Ikkaku turned on Yumichika. "Aren't you going to do that, too? It is your thing, after all."

Yumichika was incredulous. "Are you nuts? I at least have _some_ taste! Those have to be the gaudiest uniforms I have ever seen, and I've seen some horrid clothes!!"

Urahara and Yoruichi looked at the uniforms, then each other and cocked an eyebrow.

Zaraki growled ferociously at the idea of having to wear them, while Chad simply sighed. The throbbing vein in Hitsugaya's forehead was close to bursting from his scowls.

"They look like clown puke," Isane blurted out, unable to control herself. All the shinigami turned to her, surprised by the uncharacteristic outburst. Isane blushed. "It's true. I would know."

Don Kanonji started his usual routine. "That definitely shows signs of bad spirits! Bwahah-AUGH!" he wheezed as Karin elbowed him in the gut. Jinta high-fived her while Ururu let out the tiniest giggle.

"See? Everyone agrees. Nice try, but we can't use these," Ichigo said, holding the jersey out with his lip curled.

"These just won't work for hockey. Sorry, Rukia, but there's a reason we didn't directly ask you to make them," Renji stated.

She showed them her opinion by whacking their heads repeatedly. "I worked hard on these uniforms! I even made referee uniforms because I heard they were needed too, and I threw in the little floaties that they wear on their arms as well! I slave over these AND go to practices and then you give me this? Nuh-uh! You go put those uniforms on, and you better like it!" she fumed.

Ten minutes later, with padding and all, Ichigo and Renji waddled out of the locker rooms, both completely disgusted that they got forced into wearing the uniforms.

"Dear God, have mercy on me," Ichigo gurgled.

"Ugh," Renji groaned.

"That looks fantastic on you guys!" Rukia squealed. "Okay, everyone else put on your uniforms based on which one your so-called captain is wearing!"

Groans and two squeals echoed in the rink.

"Wait," Ishida said. "You brought up an interesting point a little bit ago. What are we going to do about referees? We didn't plan some of this stuff out ahead of time. My thought is, if everyone agrees, we pick one person from each team to be a ref, so that way it's equal."

Mutual agreement could be heard throughout the room.

"If it's okay, I would like to be a ref. I can easily memorize the rulebook, and I don't have powers that are good for hockey," Ishida requested.

"Okay, so who should be the ref from our team?" Renji asked.

Kira stepped up. "Renji, can I do it? I can learn the rules fast, and I think it'll be easier on me than trying to shoot and skate."

Renji sighed. "Alright, but I was hoping you'd skate for the team. Oh well, I guess it can't be helped. You're the one most suited for the position."

"Thanks Renji," Kira smiled.

"Alright, what other problems do we have yet to solve?" Toushirou wondered.

"Who's going to run the scoreboard, timer, and drive the zamboni?" Ichigo asked.

Urahara stepped up again. "I believe I already took care of that."

The doors flew open, and "HEEEEEY ICHIGOOOOO!" was heard as the foot of Isshin Kurosaki came flying toward Ichigo's face. The teen ducked at the last minute, sending his father careening into the glass by the announcer's box.

Once he recovered, Isshin hopped up into the box and grabbed the microphone. "Don't worry, son. Your dad has this covered!"

Ichigo ignored the insanity in his father's voice and turned to Urahara. "Well, that solves the timer and scoreboard problem, I guess, but what about the zamboni?"

Urahara looked at him. "Not a problem. Your father drives zambonis in his spare time. Random tidbit of information I've known for ages."

"Wait, what?" Ichigo turned to question Urahara, but he had already disappeared.


	9. Chapter 9

Back again! Another chapter for you since I'm doing pretty well at staying ahead. Don't worry, almost game time, and then the fun will really begin. :D

Don't forget to read Chapter 8. Just because I uploaded two chapters doesn't mean it's any less important (and I love that chapter), so make sure you read it, 'kay? ;)

Reviews are welcome, but if you criticize, please be nice. I don't take well to flames, pretty though they are.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach or its characters, but I do own the books mentioned in this chapter and am selling copies. (insert sarcasm here)

* * *

-Chapter 9-

"Alright, now that we have those problems solved, everyone go suit up and let's get this game started!" Rukia exclaimed.

"'Suit up'? Where'd you learn that phrase?" Ichigo asked.

"I have a book about your culture that I read in my spare time," Rukia stated.

"Really? What's it called, The Real World, for Dummies?" Ichigo smirked.

"No, Tips on Living in a Moronic Society," she countered.

Renji leaned over to Ichigo. "Oooh, burn," he taunted, promptly gaining himself a fist accessory for his face.

Kira stepped between them before a fist fight ensued. "Calm down, you two. Save it for the game."

Ishida took the lead. "We should all go get our uniforms on. Let's reconvene in twenty minutes. That should give Vice Captain Kira and me enough time to go through the rules and different calls while the teams get ready and hold any last minute pep talks."

Everyone grabbed a team-specific uniform, gagging all the while, and went to their team's locker room. Kira and Ishida, meanwhile, went into the ref room to change. Ishida opened the rule book and started going through it while Kira set down Renji's bag, which now held the Rukia-made ref uniforms. He bit his lip worriedly, preparing for the worst. Opening the bag, he let out a sigh of relief when he saw the normal black and white pinstripe patterned shirt and black pants. He held up a shirt, only to realize that Rukia had carried on the team theme by putting "Quackers" on the back where the name would be. Quickly suppressing an "eep", he switched the shirts and grabbed the rest of the uniform, handing the bag over to Ishida.

"H-here you go, this one's yours," he stuttered, running to a corner to change.

Ishida looked up at him curiously, but thought nothing of it and went back to reading.

Meanwhile, Renji's team, dubbed the Yukies by Rukia, was finishing up putting the under-armor on. Since the Shinigami had a much higher pain tolerance, they decided to use lighter armor. The girls were happy about that, especially Rangiku, who took a liking to the redesigned female armor.

"For armor, this is really nice fitting. I could do without the enormous shoulder pads, but at least my assets are taken care of. What girl wouldn't want armor that protects and lifts? And the best part is, it provides protection without complete coverage, making for easy access if need be," she stated with a wink.

She traipsed over to her captain, who was having a little difficulty with his shoulder armor. It was slightly too big for him, so he couldn't get it to fit quite right. With his back to her and his head down, he was too deeply involved in solving his predicament that he didn't notice his happy helper behind him.

Rangiku leaned over. "Hey, Captain. Doesn't this look amazing on me?"

Startled, he whipped his head up and whirled around to see her breasts right at his eye level. He turned away just as fast, trying to shield his eyes and erase the mental picture.

"Matsumoto, put those away!"

Hisagi stepped in to help the vertically-challenged captain.

"Here, Captain Hitsugaya, let me help you out." He turned to Rangiku. "Seriously, Ran, you pick the weirdest times to tease your superiors." She shrugged.

After some finagling, Hitsugaya's armor was in place and the captain was in a slightly better mood because of it.

"Thank you, Hisagi. I'll remember this later."

Hisagi gave a small bow and walked towards Rangiku, who was pouting off to the side. He nudged her with his elbow.

"I'll help you torture him later since I ruined your fun," he whispered.

She giggled. "Oh Shuuhei, what would I do without you?"

Renji called out to everyone from one of the locker room benches. "Alright everyone, put on these horrible-" Rukia whacked him hard on the head with Jidanbou's goalie glove, "-I mean, great uniforms."

He looked down at the green and yellow conglomeration he was still wearing and sighed. _I can't believe she forced me into wearing this disgusting thing…_

Another whack to the skull caused Renji to look up and glare at Rukia. "I didn't say anything!"

She glared back. "But you were thinkin' it."

He dropped his head and sighed again.

While the Shinigami put on their uniforms, Ichigo's team, otherwise known as the Chappies, finished dressing and gathered together for line division and spirit lifting.

"Alright, everyone," Ichigo announced, "they outnumber us by three, so the easiest thing to do is send people out three at a time. I'll convince Renji to do the same. We'll just have to spend more time on the ice per person. Two of you will be extras for anyone in the main lines who wants to take a break for a bit. As for the lines, I'd like Urahara, Yoruichi, and Karin to be one line and Jinta, Ururu and I will be the other. Sound good?"

"Ichigo," Orihime stated, "let me be on a line. I want to play too!"

Ichigo turned to her. "Are you sure, Orihime? This really doesn't seem like your type of game…"

Her resolve was firm. "I'll be okay, don't worry. I just want to be useful, and I know I can help. Let me play, please?"

"Okay, if you insist," he relented.

Kanonji stepped up as well. "I need this to keep my ratings up! Put me on as well, and I won't let you down!" he begged.

Ichigo sighed. "Alright, fine. You and Orihime will be on a line with me."

Jinta started to protest when Ichigo got in his face. "Relax, brat, you and Ururu will get your chances too." Ururu nodded an okay while Jinta slumped with his arms crossed, not too happy about it but resigned to do it anyway.

Ishida knocked on the door. "Time to play. Vice Captain Kira is telling the Shinigami as we speak."

"Alright, thanks, Uryuu," Ichigo said. A harrumph was heard on the other side of the door as he left.

The substitute Shinigami turned to his team. "We've trained hard for this day, especially you and your crew, Urahara. Thank you all for helping me out today and sticking with it. Now let's get out there and win this!"


	10. Chapter 10

I bring you all another chapter. If you're getting sick of the intro stuff, don't worry, the game starts in the next chapter, and then the fun really begins. :) Thank you's go out to everyone - readers, reviewers, favoriters, etc. Hope you're enjoying it so far, and stay tuned, because the fun is just getting started!

Reviews are welcome, but if you criticize, please be nice. I don't take well to flames, pretty though they are.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach or its characters, but I did come up with the witty banter. (Well, most of it. Anything else can be credited to my lovely beta Barbellenel. Love ya!)

* * *

-Chapter 10-

The locker room door burst open as Team Chappy entered the rink area and took in the sight. Isshin was nice to them and quickly zambonied the ice after he got the scoreboard and timer running. After thanking him for giving them fresh ice, Kira and Ishida, as customary with normal hockey games, went out onto the ice and skated around a bit to get used to the feel of it fresh. The Yukies were already waiting at their entry gate, ready to start the fun.

As they walked out, Yoruichi leaned over to Urahara.

"Kisuke, what are Captain Unohana and her subordinate doing here?"

"I believe they're here to cheer on Isane."

"That's nice of her. Kind of surprising that she got time off to come, though."

Team Chappy reached their entry gate. Ichigo turned to look at Renji, whose sadistic grin practically screamed, "I'm gonna beat your ass." Ichigo gave him a "Just try it" smirk in response, and together they opened their gates, allowing the teams access to the ice.

After skating around and getting their ice legs back, both "captains" called their teams together. Kira and Ishida brought them to the middle of the rink.

"Alright, everyone," Ishida started, "as you all know, this is not an ordinary hockey game, so we won't be following some standard procedures like normal games. However, basic game play is the same, aside from some extra changes."

Kira began pacing. "Zanpakutous and other personal weapons will be used instead of hockey sticks, unless someone doesn't carry any such weapon. Hockey sticks will be used then. Also, Shinigami may use their shikai and kidou, but bankai is off limits. Anyone not a Shinigami may use their powers as well. Lastly, no one may pass the puck to themselves by flash stepping." Once he finished, he turned around.

Renji caught a glimpse of Kira's back and was stunned. "Izuru, I don't know whether to laugh or feel betrayed due to the fact that 'Soul Candy' is written on your back. I'm guessing the other one matches my ass, so either you betrayed our team or you gave a pathetic attempt at making yourself look good."

Kira's cheeks reddened slightly, but he held his head high and gave no response.

Ishida sighed. _So that's what that was about earlier…_

Kira continued. "Following along with the modified rules, we have changed the penalties a bit too. We have added two penalties, one being 'improper use of powers.' If you misuse your powers or zanpakutou in a way that gives your team an unfair advantage, you will be penalized. Also, take care to watch your mouth." He shot a glare at Renji. "Mouthing off to us and getting into fights will earn you a major penalty."

"Now, just so we have names down, let's have the captains of each team introduce their team members. Smaller team goes first," Ishida stated.

Ichigo sighed. "This is pointless, but whatever. I'm Ichigo, and my team members are Orihime, Chad, Urahara, Yoruichi, Jinta, Ururu, my sister Karin, and Don Kanonji, though Kanonji's more of a mascot than anything else."

Before Kanonji could protest, Renji stepped up. "I'm Renji, and this is Isane, Hinamori, Hisagi, Captain Kuchiki, Captain Hitsugaya, Rangiku, Captain Zaraki, Ikkaku, Yumichika, Rukia, and Jidanbou."

"Okay, good. Is there anything else that needs to be brought up?" Kira asked.

Ichigo was about to speak up when Ishida cut him off. "One last thing, we figured out that the best way to set this up is to have lines of three, so that two people will be extra on each team. Hopefully you all planned accordingly."

Ichigo, who had planned on talking about that exact same idea, deflated.

"If there's nothing else, then let's start this up," Kira proclaimed.

Suddenly a senkaimon gate appeared in the bleachers, gaining everyone's attention. Out like a cannonball shot the pink-haired Yachiru, who waved to her captain once she located him.

"Sorry it took so long! I brought some friends along with me!"

Right on cue, out of the gate filed Captain Soifon, Captain Ukitake, and third seats Sentarou and Kiyone, who plopped down on the bench next to Captain Unohana and Hanatarou.

"Now the fun can officially begin!" Yachiru exclaimed.

"One, two, three, GO ISANE!!" Captain Unohana, Hanatarou, and Kiyone cheered.

"Looks like Isane has a little fan club," Urahara muttered to Yoruichi.

"We're the smaller team. We need the support, so why do they get a cheering section and we don't?" she asked.

"We do have a cheering section," Urahara countered. "Look."

Off by himself on the other side of the bleachers sat Tessai, looking down proudly at his boss.

Yoruichi cocked an eyebrow at Urahara. "One man. That's our cheering section?"

Her question was immediately answered as Tessai yelled an "Urahara" chant that echoed through the arena. "U-ra-ha-ra, U-ra-ha-ra!" Once her eyes returned to their sockets, Yoruichi gave an impressed nod.

"Alright, now that everyone's settled, let's get this game started so we can win," Ichigo smirked.

"What's the winner get? Candy?" Yachiru yelled from the bleachers.

"Nope, just the satisfaction of being right," Renji answered, grinning smugly at Ichigo.

"Okay, everyone but the first line from each team and the goalies, go to your benches!" Ishida ordered.

Jidanbou and Chad went to their goalie boxes while Ichigo, Orihime, Don Kanonji, Renji, Rukia, and Zaraki gathered around Kira. Ichigo and Renji happily went into the first face-off, with their teammates forming a triangle behind them, ready for action.

"Last chance to back down, Renji. We won't go easy on you," Ichigo warned.

"You better put up a fight, or else beating you will be way too easy," boasted Renji. He released Zabimaru, showing that he was ready to go.

Kira looked up at the announcer's box, where he got the okay from Isshin. With both captains raring to go, he looked to both of them, looked at their teammates, pulled back slightly, and then threw the puck down fiercely right as the fifteen minute countdown started. _Let the game begin…_

* * *

If you haven't figured it out by now, this is going to be a very unorthodox hockey game, so please don't be mad if it doesn't follow the rules. :) Keep an eye out for the beginning of the game - it'll be coming soon.


	11. Chapter 11

Here's the next chapter and the start of the game! Once again, thank you's all around! Hope you like it, because it's just gonna get crazier from here! :)

Reviews are welcome, but if you criticize, please be nice. I don't take well to flames, pretty though they are.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach or its characters, but it'd be nice to get that as a birthday present... (Rather doubtful...)

* * *

-Chapter 11-

As the puck fell, Ichigo and Renji asked Zangetsu and Zabimaru for their assistance. Then, with a quick arm movement, both swords clashed.

Kira was dumbstruck. "Uh, guys, you're supposed to hit the puck, not above it."

Neither one yielded to the other, the tips of the swords mere inches above the puck where no one else could get at it. Renji growled at Ichigo, while Ichigo suppressed a grunt and glared at him. The two Shinigami were oblivious to the calls of their teammates.

"Ichigo, the puck! Hit it this way!" Orihime encouraged.

"What are you doing, numb nuts? Lay off of him and whack the puck so I can take a crack at him!" Zaraki yelled.

Hearing the Eleventh captain's volume only riled them up more. With a swift turn of the wrist, the sword metal slid, and with their swords free once again, Ichigo and Renji simply ignored the puck and went after each other, trying their best to slice and dice the other, each swing being met halfway.

Orihime gave up on trying to reach the puck since the guys were fighting right on top of it. She was relieved when Kira stepped in to stop them. Zaraki, however, was frustrated with that decision, since he was just starting to enjoy the show and wanted some popcorn.

"Raise your head, Wabisuke!" When the familiar square hook took form, Kira skated up to the dueling Shinigami. Three quick strikes to each zanpakutou and both Ichigo and Renji hunched over, struggling with the weight of their swords. They looked up at him, scowling.

"I figured this would happen. You two stooges went into the face-off so you could start a fight right off the bat. Well, you did, so now let's actually play the game. I won't penalize you this time since I saw it coming, but try it a second time and you'll both be in the box for a long time," Kira warned.

He picked the puck back up. Everyone reset their positions, with Renji and Ichigo back in the face-off. Once again, Kira checked everyone, and when he got the all-clear, he threw the puck down onto the ice again. This time, sword edge met puck. Once again it was a stalemate until Renji twisted his wrist slightly. Zabimaru's end prong slid under the puck and gave Renji just enough friction to pry it from Ichigo and send it to Rukia.

She stopped it with Sode no Shirayuki and then proceeded to skate her way down the rink with it towards Chad at a decent pace, though slightly wobbly. Orihime and Don Kanonji were following close behind her. Rukia, wanting to give them the slip, carefully turned around and started gliding backwards, letting the puck drift ahead of her. She turned her zanpakutou's blade to the ground. "Dance, Sode no Shirayuki! First dance, white moon!" A big pillar of ice suddenly formed where Sode no Shirayuki was pointing, covering a good portion of the rink and reaching to the rafters. Startled, Orihime veered just at the right moment and continued pursuit of the puck. Don Kanonji, however, wasn't as lucky. Lacking the skating experience Orihime had, he reacted too late and was just about to turn when he collided with the frozen behemoth.

Rukia turned around carefully once again and took possession of the puck, which hadn't strayed too far from her. Orihime zipped past her, ready to defend Chad. Luckily she didn't have to yet. Apparently some small birds had gotten into the rink and made a nest in the rafters, which the ice pillar disturbed. The birds, looking for vengeance, took flight and then dive-bombed poor Rukia, who fell down screaming due to mass pecking.

"Oh my, I never expected little birds to be so aggressive," Ukitake commented.

"That's amazing! They're so cute and violent! Kenny, can I have one?" Yachiru called out, extremely amused.

With Rukia down, the puck drifted on. Orihime was about to take control of it when Zaraki intercepted it. Annoyed, she followed after him.

Shakily, he skated around near the wall, ready to assault Chad to score if need be. All of a sudden, out of the corner of his eye he saw Orihime barreling toward him. He could only gape with a small grin as she yelled "Gotcha!" right before slamming him into the wall hard, much harder than he anticipated. The bells in his hair jingled as his head hit the wall from the momentum. As she backed off of him, nabbed the puck, and skated toward Jidanbou, he fell to his knees. "That's supposed to be my line," he breathed, and then collapsed, passed out on the ice.

Everyone was stunned, especially the Shinigami.

"I don't believe it! Orihime took out Captain Zaraki!" Rangiku exclaimed.

"Who knew she had it in her?" Hisagi said, shocked.

"Remind me not to get on her bad side," Urahara told Yoruichi, elbowing her.

"Kenny!!" Yachiru exclaimed, standing up to go help him.

"Sit down, Vice Captain," Unohana told her. "Isane is there to take care of him. He'll be awake in no time." Yachiru reluctantly did as she was told.

"Think he's okay, Ikkaku?" an out of breath Yumichika asked.

"He will be. Otherwise we picked the wrong guy to follow. But who cares right now, just keep dancing! Luck luck luck, luck luck luck…"

Hitsugaya glanced over at the two dancing Shinigami. "What are they, cheerleaders?"

Ichigo joined Orihime as she sped towards Jidanbou's goal.

"That was amazing, Orihime. You've definitely proven yourself here," he told her, grinning.

"Thanks! I try," she said, grinning back at him.

Their celebration was short lived as Renji approached. "Roar, Zabimaru!" With a giant swing, he brought the extended zanpakutou down right onto the hockey stick Orihime was using, breaking it.

"Ichigo, you take the puck. I'll handle him," she said confidently.

Ichigo nodded and zipped off.

Orihime turned and skated towards Renji, eyes narrowed. "Tsubaki," she said, calling the fairy out, "go help Ichigo."

"What are you, nuts? Lemme stay here and chop this guy!" the angry sprite retorted.

She glared at him. "No, I'll take him. You go help Ichigo, and don't cut him!"

Tsubaki gave her the evil death glare and then did what he was told.

Renji wasn't at all daunted as Orihime approached. He had second thoughts, however, as she skated circles around him and then repeatedly whacked him upside the head with the broken stick handle.

With Rukia still being bird food, Jidanbou was the only one guarding the goal. Still, the giant left no openings. Ichigo needed time to think it through.

"Hey moron! Pass it here! I'll cover for you!"

He looked over to see Tsubaki low to the ice, yelling at him. It took little convincing to give the fairy what he wanted; Ichigo relinquished control of the puck. Tsubaki showed plenty of puck-handling skills as he flew around it, pushing it this way and that.

Ichigo was glad for the reprieve. _How can I score a goal when the goaltender is humongous? … No, that won't work… That won't work, either… What can I do to- … Wait, I've got it!_

"Tsubaki, pass it back! I have a plan!"

"Alright, but I hope you know what you're doing, Peanut Brain."

With the puck back in his control, Ichigo skated up to Jidanbou.

"Sorry, no entrance, even for you, Spiky Head."

Ichigo faked disappointment. "Oh, well that's too bad… Ooh wait, what's that in the bleachers? Hey look, a golden axe!" He pointed off to the side.

"Where?" Jidanbou turned his head, unknowingly lifting his arms just the slightest bit.

Ichigo concentrated. _Alright, I can do this!_

He slapped the puck with Zangetsu's edge, sending it careening toward the goal but unintentionally at the wrong angle.

Ichigo was horrified. "Oh, dammit!"

* * *

I could always use more ideas for everyone to do during the game, so if you think of something let me know. I do have the final say here but most likely it will be put in. Just don't expect to see it right away. :)


	12. Chapter 12

Hello again! Sorry it took so long, but I had some computer troubles. Everything is fine now though, so here is the next chapter for you! Thank you all for reading, and enjoy!

Reviews are welcome, but if you criticize, please be nice. I don't take well to flames, pretty though they are.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach or its characters, but I do own the golden axe. It's nice and shiny.

* * *

-Chapter 12-

Ichigo stood there aghast as the puck sailed towards the goal at the wrong angle. _As long as Jidanbou doesn't move, I might still have a chance. It could go in, but it could also not go in. I guess it's all up to luck._

At that moment, Jidanbou, who was still trying to locate the "golden axe," turned his upper body so he could try to find it easier, causing his foot to turn sideways, putting it right in the path of the puck. Any hope that Ichigo was holding on to suddenly sank.

The puck rushed forward, unaware of the new obstacle. It collided with the giant's skate and bounced off toward the wall. Ichigo groaned.

"Way to go, genius. Ever heard of a thing called aim?" Tsubaki taunted.

"Buzz off, fly boy," Ichigo retorted as he turned and chased after the puck.

"Hey, at least when I fly I can actually control which way I'm going, unlike you and your giant razor there," Tsubaki countered, following the Shinigami.

"So what, you dinky pigeon-toed twerp? Why should I listen to you? You're just another rat with wings. You smell like it too," Ichigo stated, swatting at the sprite.

Tsubaki's temper flared. "Take that back, Pretty in Pink!"

"Forget it! And I hate pink! Damn uniforms."

"Funny, 'cause the way the uniforms reflect light, it looks like your head is a spiky lollipop. Should I call you Cotton Candy now? Looks good enough to eat," Tsubaki ridiculed, still steaming.

"Alright, now you've done it, you arrogant midget. Come here and let me show you the business end of my zanpakutou!" Ichigo grabbed at Tsubaki, the puck momentarily forgotten. The feisty sprite was too fast for him, however, and before Ichigo could try to snatch him again, Tsubaki was gone.

"Probably went crying back to Orihime," Ichigo muttered under his breath. "Now where'd that puck go?"

The whistle blew, stopping play. Everyone who could looked to Ishida.

"Icing," he said.

Sure enough, the puck had glided across the rink and crossed the red line unnoticed. Orihime had been too busy bludgeoning Renji with her broken stick, Rukia was recovering from bird-induced trauma, Kanonji was loopy from the ice pillar collision, and Zaraki was still passed out from Orihime checking him into the wall.

Ichigo skated up to Ishida. "Come on, Uryuu, that's a dumb call and you know it. It's always been pointless. Let's not use it."

"Hey, I'm the ref here and I'll call what I want. Right, Vice Captain Kira?"

Kira nodded.

Orihime and Renji skated up to them, Orihime looking less than pleased and Renji a little worse for wear. Tsubaki was sitting on her shoulder. A shaky Rukia also joined them.

Renji smirked at Ichigo, still cocky as ever despite the beating. "So, when I could actually see during my endurance training, I noticed you took a sneaky shot at our goalie and missed. Hey, Strawberry Shortcake, I thought you were good at this game."

"No," Ichigo replied, "I said I'd been practicing for years. I didn't say if I was any good or not."

"Not good for much of anything, are you, Pinky?" Tsubaki sneered, leaving Orihime's shoulder and flying around Ichigo, who swatted at him.

Hisagi called out to the group. "Hey Refs! What's with the fairy? Isn't he illegal?"

A confused Ikkaku answered. "Who, Yumichika?"

Yumi was indignant. "Well, I never! Wait, am I a cute fairy?"

Hisagi turned to Ikkaku. "No, the little black thing."

Ikkaku was even more confused. "The puck?"

Hisagi groaned. "No, that!" He pointed to Tsubaki.

"Oh, _that_ thing…"

"Oh, he's legal," Kira responded.

"But he's basically like an extra player," Hisagi stated.

"He's part of Orihime's powers, and any special powers are legal," Ishida continued.

"…Alright, I can live with that."

"While play is stopped, let's switch lines," Kira suggested. "I don't think that you guys can keep playing at full force while people are knocked out." He looked to Zaraki and Kanonji.

"Kenny's not knocked out! He's just, uh, sleeping! Right, Mr. Flattened-a-lot?" Yachiru elbowed Hanatarou, who ouch-ed and scooted closer to Captain Unohana. "Snowman?" She nudged Ukitake for an answer instead, but he simply zipped his lip.

Though Ichigo would've liked to continue without Kanonji's attempt at help, he reluctantly agreed to the switch. The teams dragged their incapacitated teammates off the ice to their respective boxes. Isane got to work reviving Zaraki while the Tenth division and Hisagi took the ice. Orihime didn't even bother looking at Kanonji, saying she needed to rest and that he would come around eventually. With that said, Urahara, Yoruichi, and Karin went out on the ice.

Ishida took the puck while Karin and Hitsugaya went into the face-off, their teammates arranging themselves behind them.

Karin looked at Hitsugaya. "I know you're a powerful guy, Toushirou, but don't count me out yet!" She grinned.

He looked at her squarely. "You forget, I'm a master of ice."

"We'll see about that," Hisagi whispered to Rangiku, who suppressed a giggle.

"You sure this is going to work, Shuuhei?" she whispered back.

"Don't worry, Ran, the plan is already in motion. I 'helped' him with his armor earlier, so that's had time to kick in, and the Baldly Beautiful brothers are assisting us as we speak."

"You're a hero to schemers everywhere," she grinned.

Ishida looked around for confirmation, and then quickly threw the puck down. Before Hitsugaya had a chance to react, Karin had swiped the puck and taken off towards Jidanbou's goal, Urahara and Yoruichi backing her up.

Hitsugaya, surprised by her speed, quickly regained his composure and flew after her, Matsumoto and Hisagi following obediently. Not willing to be defeated, he raised Hyourinmaru above his head and swiftly brought the sword down, sending a dragon-shaped plume of ice toward Karin, intending to cut her off.

Urahara beat the white-haired captain to it. He turned around and signaled Yoruichi to continue on with Karin, then focused on the Shinigami approaching him. "Scream, Benihime! Blood Mist Shield!" The multi-sided shield took form just as the ice dragon approached. He tilted the shield just as the dragon hit, bouncing it off the top and over Jidanbou's head, not an easy feat. It hit the wall and shattered before Hitsugaya had the chance to control it.

Hitsugaya was dumbfounded. _What's going on here? That should've worked. Even if he deflected it, I should've been able to control its movement, but I didn't even react at all! Something is wrong…_

"It's okay, Toushirou, you can do it!" Ukitake cheered from the bleachers.

Matsumoto skated up to her captain as quick as she could. With one swift motion, she picked him up and embraced him tightly, one hand on his back, one on his neck. She squeezed him tighter, his head being forced into her chest chasm. "It's okay, Captain! You'll get it next time!" She rubbed his neck, securing a small patch there, unbeknownst to him.

With his head being held in the depths of her bosom, the very aggravated diminutive captain writhed and wriggled, trying to break his arms free. His legs flailed wildly, to no avail.

"MPH-U-MO-MO!! MPHUTH MME MPTHOWM!!"

"What was that, Captain?" she asked innocently, allowing him to breathe once again.

"I said, PUT ME DOWN!!"

"Yes sir, right away!"

She quickly released her grip on him. Hitsugaya had little time to stop his still flailing legs as he plummeted to the ice, attempting to regain his balance. It wasn't enough to save him though, and he soon met the ice the hard way. If the color of his face could melt ice, the rink would've been a swimming pool.

* * *

Like I said before, I could always use more ideas for everyone to do during the game, so if you think of something please let me know. I do have the final say here but most likely it will be put in. Just don't expect to see it right away. :)

Next chapter: Matsumoto and Hisagi's plot continues...


	13. Chapter 13

Here's a new chapter for you! With any luck I'll get past my current writer's block and write some more so I can post more for all my wonderful readers! I know I keep repeating myself but I still mean it; thank you to everyone who's read and reviewed so far. You don't know how much you all make my day! :D Enjoy the latest chapter!

Reviews are welcome, but if you criticize, please be nice. I don't take well to flames, pretty though they are.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach or its characters, though it would be nice because then I could get away with a lot more torture- I mean, radical ideas. 0:)

* * *

-Chapter 13-

Once Matsumoto skated away, a fuming Hitsugaya stood up and put his game face back on. The fact that she hugged him disturbed him; sure, she was free-spirited and carefree around him, but she very rarely hugged him. Something was definitely up, but he didn't have time to worry about that right now. He needed to get his head back in the game. With that decided, he quickly took off after his subordinate.

Hisagi was doing his best to stop the advancing opponents. He tossed some of his specially made firecrackers in front of them, hoping that would deter them long enough for him to steal the puck back. He wasn't expecting Yoruichi, the Goddess of Flash, to flash-step around and karate chop the fuses. He also tried throwing knives he 'borrowed' from the restaurants in the Rukongai, but those simply got stuck in Urahara's shield. He was about to rush in with his sword, knowing it was useless, when he heard "Roar, Haineko!" behind him. A giant ball of ash sped past him, headed straight for the so-far unbeatable trio.

It went after Yoruichi, who couldn't lose it despite flash-stepping all over the rink. With her occupied, Hisagi headed towards Urahara while Hitsugaya set his sights on Karin.

Despite his best efforts, none of Hisagi's blows could get past the shield. Seizing a break in the onslaught, Urahara rushed him, sending Hisagi crashing to the ice. Hitsugaya quickly sent another ice dragon after Karin, hoping to stop her, but with Hisagi down, Urahara sent a wave of crimson energy to meet it, stopping the attack.

Another red blast followed, aimed at Hitsugaya to try and deter him. At the last second, he summoned another ice dragon that wrapped around him for protection. The collision shattered the ice, exposing a safe but panting Hitsugaya.

_What is wrong with me? I can't control Hyourinmaru like I usually can. I'm not reacting fast at all!_

"Captain Hitsugaya!" Hisagi called. "Go after the girl! I'll take care of Urahara!" He threw some more firecrackers at Urahara and zipped in for a sword slash.

Hisagi's call snapped the captain out of his daze. He sped off to stop her.

Karin made good time and was assaulting Jidanbou with the puck, taking shot after shot, each one bouncing off or being blocked. With one last hope, she hit the puck into the air. It looked hopeful, but then Jidanbou moved his leg and it bounced off the pads, flying even higher.

Hitsugaya skated up just as she took the shot and watched the puck bounce off. _Good, I made it just in time._

She saw him there and got an idea. Karin rushed up to him and thwacked him on the back with her hockey stick, causing him to hunch over. Before he could say anything, she put her hands on his shoulders, jumped up, and pushed off of him, sending her higher into the air and him straight down. She twisted her leg around, and with a swift kick, sent the puck careening down between the giant's legs and into the goal. She flipped herself around but wasn't expecting the height, so once her skates touched down again, she promptly fell backwards.

Kira skated up to her. "Nice goal. And I'll give you a seven on the LOG scale too." He laughed and skated away with the puck, leaving a very confused Karin behind.

The booming voice of Isshin Kurosaki filled the rink. "The score is now one-nothing, Chappies! Goal scored by my darling daughter, Karin Kurosaki, assisted by the white haired runt plastered to the ice!"

As everyone stopped play, an annoyed Hitsugaya pried himself off the ice. _I don't believe this. I basically let her score that goal! This is so frustrating! Why am I not reacting the way I should? _Several beads of sweat rolled down his forehead. _Ugh, why is it so hot in here? It's an ice arena, for cryin' out loud, but it feels like a sauna! The others don't seem to be this hot, so why am I? Ah, a drink, that's what I need._

He skated shakily over to the box where his water bottle waited. He grabbed it and chugged several mouthfuls, only to nearly gag on it.

"What is this?" he gurgled, holding out the water bottle.

"I believe it's a water bottle, Captain," Ikkaku answered smugly.

"No, you twit. What's in it?" Hitsugaya panted.

"Oh, we found some flavored water packets and thought you might like it, so we dumped one in. We even asked Rangiku if it was okay first," Yumichika told him.

"Next time you find something like that, throw it away! This is horrible! It tastes like peppers!"

"Oh, we're sorry. I guess the packet was right when it said it had a kick to it," Yumichika mused.

"Captain," Matsumoto called, "are you ready?"

"Yes, I'm coming," he replied. He would have to reprimand her later for allowing those two to tamper with his liquid refreshment.

He skated back out and joined Hisagi behind Matsumoto, who was facing off against Yoruichi.

Hisagi got his attention. "Captain, I have a plan that should work in our favor. If we-"

"Fine, let's do it. I'm not in the mood to think of something else right now."

"O-Okay, just follow my lead."

"Uh huh, whatever," Hitsugaya said, slowly running out of steam.

Kira dropped the puck once more. Matsumoto somehow pried the puck away from Yoruichi and headed towards Chad with it.

She yelled back over her shoulder. "I guess the Goddess of Flash is only quick with her legs!"

Easy to anger, Yoruichi flash-stepped in front of her. "Let me prove you wrong." She tried to punch Rangiku, only for the strawberry blond to duck at the last minute.

"Shuuhei!" Matsumoto quickly passed the puck off so that she could fight Yoruichi properly.

The two circled each other, meeting blow for blow.

"So how does it work, Ran? Do your boobs do all the thinking for you?"

"Yeah right. You're just angry 'cause you want my sex appeal," Rangiku hissed.

"You're wrong!"

"Oh you know you do, especially for Kisuke, am I right?" she said with a sadistic wink.

A certain blond Shinigami in a green bucket hat perked up slightly.

"That's it! Come here, you!" Yoruichi hollered as she pounced on Rangiku.

Soifon purred. "Ooh, feisty! I like that! The redhead holds potential…"

Meanwhile, Hisagi and Hitsugaya rushed Urahara, intent on stopping the one-man team.

"Now, Captain!" Hisagi shouted as he slid the puck over to Hitsugaya.

Taking the cue, the white-haired Shinigami summoned an ice dragon and sent it straight at Urahara. It then flew up halfway to the roof and then dove back down, colliding with the Blood Mist Shield. Hisagi got low to the ice, looking for the perfect spot and angle, and found it when a piece of the dragon attached itself to the shield. He quickly threw a knife at it, which bounced off and hit the rafters. "Okay, go for it, Captain!" With that, he sped off to avoid the coming wrath and keep Karin at bay.

Hitsugaya flew past Urahara as quickly as he could, taking the puck with him. Poor Kisuke was left to deal with the ferocity of the rafter birds, who to his admission were much stronger than they looked.

"Way to go, fellow Whitey!" Ukitake cheered from the sidelines.

Hitsugaya zoomed ahead. _I've got to end this fast. I'm running out of strength…_

Ready to fight for the goal, Chad powered up his arm and sent an energy blast through his specially designed goalie glove. Hitsugaya countered with one last ice dragon that swallowed the end of the blast and froze the rest of it, also freezing Chad's arm to the goalpost momentarily. Chad desperately tried to get his arm free, since he couldn't defend the goal otherwise, while Hitsugaya approached.

Just as he was about to shoot, Hitsugaya slipped and fell backwards. Cursing, he spun himself around and fired a small ice blast at the puck. _Please go in!_

* * *

Like I said before, I could always use more ideas for everyone to do during the game, so if you think of something please let me know. I do have the final say here but most likely it will be put in. Just don't expect to see it right away. :)

And for all of you who know hockey, yes I know technically Karin's goal shouldn't have counted, but keep in mind that they all had to learn the basics in a week, and the poor refs only had 20 minutes to go through the entire rule book. So, with that in mind, remember that this is a very off-the-wall game and will most likely continue to be. :D

Next chapter: Hitsugaya meets his makers... ;)


	14. Chapter 14

This is the moment we've all been waiting for - update time! And of course, that means it's time for the debut of Torture Corner with Hisagi and Matsumoto! Hope you enjoy the hilarity, and thanks again for reading and reviewing!

Reviews are welcome, but if you criticize, please be nice. I don't take well to flames, pretty though they are.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach or its characters. If I did, there would be a lot more foxlike creatures like Captain Komamura roaming around. (What can I say, I have a thing for bushy tails...)

* * *

-Chapter 14-

With a boost from the shaft of ice sent by Hitsugaya, the puck sailed between Chad's leg and the goalpost.

"Nicely done, sir," Kira told him, lending him a hand up, which he gladly took.

Isshin's voice filled the air once again. "The score is now tied, one to one! Goal scored by the white haired runt!"

"That's Captain Hitsugaya, you oaf!" he shouted at the announcer's box.

Standing off to the side were Hisagi and Matsumoto, who, thanks to Ishida prying Yoruichi and her apart, looked slightly scraggly but otherwise fine. The two Shinigami turned to each other. "Three, two, one…"

Suddenly Ikkaku and Yumichika jumped out of the team box and flew over to where Hitsugaya and Kira stood. Both light-haired Shinigami gave them weird looks.

Yumichika took Hitsugaya's hand and shook it. "Congratulations on the goal, Captain Hitsugaya!"

Ikkaku leaned in towards him, giving a small bow. "Allow us to help you celebrate!"

Both Shinigami assaulted the vertically-challenged captain simultaneously, with Yumichika grabbing his arms and Ikkaku his legs. Hitsugaya was shocked silent, while Kira stood there agape. Ikkaku began chanting while the pair moved him around like a rag doll.

"Luck-luck-luck, luck-luck-luck-" Ikkaku moved Hitsugaya's heels back and forth, then balanced him on one foot while Yumi straightened his arms out in front of him. "Lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-luck, lu-lu-lu-luck-" they turned him the other way, then Ikkaku brought his right foot down behind the other one and bounced him on his toes. "Luck, luck, luck, luck, luck!" After Yumichika placed Hitsugaya's hands on the handle of Hyourinmaru, the duo lifted him, with plenty of objection, and carefully flipped him over the zanpakutou. Ikkaku set one foot down at a time and finished the chant while Yumichika placed Hitsugaya's hands on the hilt and blade and stretched his arms out. "Lucky!!"

Hisagi and Matsumoto clapped, and everyone else took the cue and joined in.

"Nice dance, Toushirou!" Ukitake cheered.

"Kenny can do that too, if they'd only ask him," Yachiru stated, elbowing Ukitake in the side.

The pair set him down and grinned.

Hitsugaya's face slowly reddened with anger. The irate captain turned on them.

"What the HELL WAS THAT??" he screamed.

Ikkaku was undeterred. "It's our luck-luck dance. We- well, I at least always dance it to make sure my opponents are ready to fight." He grinned.

"Well, you're going to need it!! Come here!!" Hitsugaya, still angry beyond belief, raised his zanpakutou. "Go, Hyourinmaru!!" He swung down, bringing the sword level to the ground and waited for the dragon to send the two clowns into arctic oblivion. Nothing happened. A second of shock, and then he tried it again. "GO, HYOURINMARU!!" All that happened this time was a few small plumes of steam rising from the sword.

Hitsugaya blinked. "What is going on here??"

Hisagi did his best to keep a straight face while Rangiku giggled.

Had he not been on skates, he would've stomped up to them. "What did you do to me?!"

"Sorry Captain," Rangiku said between giggles, "but in order for the dance to work, we had to make sure you wouldn't kill them afterwards, so we de-iced you."

"Hey, we could've taken him!" Ikkaku announced indignantly.

"You melted Whitey?" Hinamori asked, stunned.

"So that's why I feel like a furnace! I swear, I'll get you for this, Matsumoto!" he huffed, and went into the locker room to inspect himself for booby traps, and not just the ones on his vice captain's chest. (1)

"Okay, since we need to let Hitsugaya calm down and give Urahara some bandages and medicated wipes, let's switch lines," Ishida suggested.

With Urahara's limp body off the ice, Ichigo's line stormed the field once again. Byakuya, Isane, and Hinamori, the last line for the Shinigami team, went out to meet them, with plenty of complaint in the background.

"This whole line thing is getting really annoying!" Renji complained. "I wanna go out there!"

"Wait your turn," Rukia chided him.

"But Ichigo's out there, and whenever he's out there, I should be too!" Renji got up and threw a leg over the wall of the team box, ready to jump out there and kick his captain off the line.

"No buts!" Rukia scolded. "Now sit down!" She grabbed him by the collar and pulled him back onto the bench.

"C'mon Rukia!" he whined.

"Don't make me freeze your butt to the bench!"

"Yeah, calm down, Red Whine. I want to see how this turns out," a moist Hisagi said, returning to his spot on the bench next to Renji and nearly getting his head slammed into the wall a second later.

On the ice, Ichigo and Byakuya took the face-off while Orihime, Kanonji, Isane, and Hinamori took their places behind their teammates. Kira skated over to Ishida and handed him the puck, then u-turned around him and headed off to the side.

Ichigo smirked. "Ready to meet your maker, Byakuya Kuchiki?"

The noble's eyebrows narrowed slightly. "That's Captain Kuchiki to you, boy."

"Pah, I'm a substitute Shinigami. I don't follow your rules," Ichigo replied.

Ishida let the puck loose. Quick as a flash, Byakuya had swiped the puck. He headed towards the humans' goal, but he was still having trouble staying on his feet, and that cost him. Ichigo caught up to him quickly and stole the puck, reversing direction and then Getsuga Tenshou-ing the puck to Orihime, who had acquired a new hockey stick while off ice duty.

Kanonji laughed in his usual dumb way, clearly mocking Byakuya. "Smells like bad spirits! Bwahaha!"

"Keep your eyes on the game, you moron!" Ichigo yelled as he whizzed past to help Orihime. Hinamori went after her also, stopping only to check Kanonji into the wall for Byakuya's sake.

"Ooh, she threw her shoulder into that one," Kiyone cringed.

"That was great, Hina-Bun! Do it again!" Yachiru screamed.

Hinamori raced on beside the wall, doing her best to catch up to Orihime. Suddenly, something off to the side caught her eye. She turned quickly towards the wall, the speed of which caused her to accidentally lose her balance and plummet to the ice. Once she recovered, she turned to the wall once again. Her expression soured.

"Why are you following me?!" she yelled at the glass pane. "I didn't do anything to you! Leave me alone!"

She turned and continued her original path towards Orihime, but was instantly distracted. Once again, she faced the wall.

"Stop following me! No more! … Oh, so now you're yelling at me again? … That's it! I can't tolerate this anymore!" Angered, Hinamori held out her hand and began spinning. "Ruler! Mask of flesh and blood, all things in the universe fly. That which names all things in nature, gathering of heat and war. Beyond the seas in reverse, take steps to the south. Hadou 31, Shakkahou, Red Flame Cannon!" With speed in her spin, she sent a plethora of Red Flame Cannons at the glass panels all around the rink. Everyone who had common sense ducked to avoid being hit; Kanonji reeled from the blast.

"Santen Kesshun, I reject!" Orihime erected her triangular shield, having been delayed by the kidou long enough. Luckily the puck hadn't strayed too far from her when she was forced to take cover. She turned her shield to cover her from behind and then took off again towards Jidanbou's goal. "Tsubaki, help me out here."

The disgruntled sprite appeared again, flying low to the ice, ready to pass the puck back and forth.

Hinamori was in hot pursuit. With the glass panes temporarily covered in smoke from the Red Flame Cannon impacts, her stalker reflection was nowhere to be seen, leaving her to concentrate on the game once again. Her attempts at stopping Orihime were futile, since every spell she threw at her bounced off the shield. She spotted Isane guarding Jidanbou.

"Isane, stop her!"

Isane froze. Her heart started beating rapidly as the trio approached, a few beads of nervous sweat rolling down her forehead.

"Isane! Snap out of it and help me!"

Her heart beat faster, breathing erratic, knees wobbly. She fell to the ice as her legs gave out from under her, her entire body trembling. _I… can't move…_

"Isane!"

* * *

(1) - Credit for the "booby trap known as Matsumoto's chest" line goes to Mom aka Barbellenel.

Like I said before, I could always use more ideas for everyone to do during the game, so if you think of something please let me know. I do have the final say here but most likely it will be put in. Just don't expect to see it right away. :)

What's wrong with Isane? Don't worry, you'll find out soon enough. ;)


	15. Chapter 15

Ta da! I'm back once again with a new chapter! It might be a little bit before the next chapter comes out. I'm having another battle with writer's block, and I seem to be losing right now, since it just took a sledgehammer to my head. (Not literally. I'm fine.) Just wanted to forewarn you all. Once again, thank you for reading. I'd really like to know what you think of the game so far - what works, what doesn't, any ideas you might have. I like to know that I'm making people happy, and I've been wondering about that recently, since nobody has told me (besides Barbellenel, but we're related so I don't really think that counts). Hope you all like this chapter!

Reviews are welcome, but if you criticize, please be nice. I don't take well to flames, pretty though they are.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach or its characters. If I did, it would be a lot crazier than it already is, and it's debatable whether that's a good thing or not. (I thought for sure that having them battle with giant chocolate bars would be a surefire hit...)

* * *

-Chapter 15-

Isane quivered as the trio approached. She knew that Hinamori needed backup because she couldn't take care of both Orihime and her fairy, but something was preventing her from moving. As each spell that Momo fired reflected off the shield, all she could do was watch in horror while her fan club cheered in the background.

After some passing between Orihime and Tsubaki, the sprite sent the puck back to her for the final shot. Orihime smiled at Jidanbou, signaling no hard feelings for any of this, then wound up and slapped the puck towards an opening. Unfortunately it had more of an angle than she had intended, which put it right in the way of Jidanbou who blocked, then covered it, signaling the end of that play.

"Nicely done, Jidanbou. They picked a good goalie," Orihime praised him.

"Thank you. It's nice to see you again," he replied, setting a giant hand lightly on her head. She smiled up at him.

Hinamori helped Isane up and led her back to the box by the arm. "You alright?"

"Y-Yeah, I guess so. I don't know what came over me."

"Stage fright?" Rangiku asked from the box.

"I guess it's possible," Isane pondered, leaning on the box wall.

"Hmph. No such thing as stage fright," Yumichika interjected, arms crossed and nose high in the air.

"Of course you'd think that," Ikkaku sneered. "You don't need a stage to be a drama queen."

Hisagi pushed a gaping Yumi out of the way. "Why are you so afraid, Isane?"

She sighed. "I guess it's a lot different than in practices, since we practiced on our own nearly all the time. Now that we're working as a team and there are other people watching, it's harder on me. I suppose I wasn't expecting that, even though I should've been."

Hisagi gave her a small smile. "What do you need to be afraid for? You survived me, didn't you?" (1)

Isane's resolve strengthened. She stood back up, determined. "You're absolutely right, Shuuhei. If I can survive six months with you, then this should be a cakewalk! Thanks for the vote of confidence!" She turned to Hinamori. "Let's get back out there."

The girls skated off, leaving a confused Hisagi behind. "Was I really that bad?"

Kira retrieved the puck from Jidanbou and skated to the middle of the rink, where the others crowded around him. Orihime and Hinamori went into the face-off this time.

Once he got the okay, Kira threw the puck down again. Hinamori's zanpakutou and Orihime's hockey stick held the puck in place, both girls vying for it. Orihime twisted the stick around, moving the puck the slightest bit, which gave her the opportunity to swipe it. She swiftly turned around and skated off with it, Hinamori on her heels and Ichigo and Byakuya following after. Isane sped ahead to help Jidanbou with goalkeeping, while Kanonji trailed her, preparing a ball of energy to send at her.

She turned to look behind her briefly. "I don't have time to deal with you." Without turning around or stopping, she pointed an arm backwards. "Bakudou 4, Hainawa, Crawling Rope." A rope of energy shot towards Kanonji and captured his arms behind his back, causing the energy ball to disappear.

He stopped skating briefly. "This won't stop me!" He threw his head back and moved his shoulders up and down. "Bwahaha!"

"Oh, will you be quiet!" Hinamori said sourly as she rammed him with her shoulder on her way past. The blow knocked him off balance, earning him some close up, one-on-one time with the ice over by the wall. With his forehead against the ice and his arms still glued behind his back, he let out an exasperated sigh as he tried to stand up again, which, judging by his performances in practice, was going to take a while.

"Yay! Hina-Bun did it again!" Yachiru squealed.

"Wow, Momo is really showing her hidden vicious side," Ukitake commented.

"I think she should do it more often," Soifon stated slyly.

Hinamori was dead set on getting that puck back. Having failed at kidou before, she decided to try a different approach. She put her sword out in front of her, both hands on the hilt, and raised it up. "Snap, Tobiume!" She swung down, sending a ball of pink energy swerving its way towards Orihime.

"Tsubaki, stop that energy ball!" Orihime called.

"Finally, I get to do my actual job!"

"But don't hurt Hinamori!" she added quickly.

"Aw, come on, woman! You're ruining the fun!" he complained. Reluctantly, he left Hinamori be and resigned to chopping the pink energy balls as they approached.

Not to be outdone, Hinamori let loose a barrage of energy from Tobiume, hoping the sheer amount would deter the fairy. Tsubaki only smiled, however, as he took great pleasure in slicing the rosy matter to bits, happy for a challenge.

"Hmm, more potential here as well," Soifon noted, a corner of her mouth upturned. "I must make a mental note of this for later."

Byakuya was following Hinamori persistently, trying to catch up so he could help, but unfortunately she was going too fast for him. It also didn't help that a certain orange haired Shinigami was swerving around behind him.

"If I am going so slow, then perhaps you should go around me. Otherwise, I shall have to forcibly stop you from following me this closely," the noble stated, turning his head to the side slightly so that Ichigo could hear him.

Ichigo skated up to his side. "Now what's the fun in that? Orihime obviously doesn't need me, so why bother trying to catch them when I can pester you all I want?" He grinned sadistically.

"You should learn your place," Byakuya replied coldly. "Or perhaps some discipline, or respect for your elders."

"And you should loosen up, and maybe while you're at it, you can take that stick out of your-"

"Boy," Captain Kuchiki warned darkly, "I have no patience for this. I am a dignified, respected noble and do not stray from my schedule. You and I are to do battle in late February, so until then I shall not engage in armed violence with you. If you desire a fight that badly, go and have at my rebellious Vice Captain, but do leave his hair intact. It makes for a good dust magnet." (2)

As Kuchiki skated away to the best of his ability, Ichigo stood there, curiosity etched in his face. "February?" He came to his senses, shook his head quickly and caught up to the captain once again.

"You mean you won't fight me, even if I do this?" He swung Zangetsu down but Byakuya blocked it with Senbonzakura almost immediately, then dropped his sword and started skating away again. Ichigo swung at him again and again but the result was always the same.

Finally, a frustrated Ichigo placed Zangetsu on his back temporarily and grabbed Byakuya's jersey roughly.

"Unhand me, boy," Byakuya demanded.

"Not until you fight me, damn it!"

"I refuse."

Ichigo shook the captain with all his might. "Fight me, fight me, fight me!" The force of the pushes caused Byakuya's head to fly back, and each time he was pulled forward again, the scowl on his face grew deeper.

Just as Orihime was about to take another shot on Jidanbou's goal, a whistle blew. She turned around to see Ishida carting Ichigo off to the penalty box.

"Penalty called on my son Ichigo for roughing, or trying to. Really, Ichigo, I taught you better than that. Why, why…?" Isshin faded into the background once again.

Orihime skated up to the box as Ishida shoved Ichigo inside. "Ichigo, I had the perfect shot. What were you thinking?"

Tsubaki flew around Ichigo's head. "Geez, you're pathetic. You can't even start a fight!"

"I've had enough of you!" An irritated Ichigo flicked the sprite in the nose, sending him careening into Orihime's hand.

"That was uncalled for, Ichigo," Orihime chastised him. "I can forgive you for ruining my shot, but being mean to Tsubaki is something else. Now apologize."

Ichigo turned his head away. "Forget it, the gnat's been taking shots at me all game, so I needed to even the score."

"Ichigo-"

"I said no!"

Orihime frowned. "Fine. But until you apologize, I'm not healing any of your wounds!" She stormed off.

Ichigo glared at the box floor. _I don't need her to heal me. I'll show her what I can do, once I get out of this stupid box…_

* * *

And now for some shameless plugs where due credit is needed.

(1) - This idea is based off of Barbellenel's Regression.

(2) - Byakuya's duster comment based off of Barbellenel's Regression Blues.

Both of the above are very good stories and I highly recommend them. :)

Like I said before, I could always use more ideas for everyone to do during the game, so if you think of something please let me know. I do have the final say here but most likely it will be put in. I'm very open to radical ideas and I'm merciful with them. :)


	16. Chapter 16

Sorry it took so long, everyone! Writer's block is a pain to reason with (still sore from the beatdown I had to give it) but I've won for the time being, so I'm gifting you with another chapter. I like this one since there are some fun lines and interactions. Once again, thank you for reading, and please let me know what you think! Enjoy!

Oh, one little side note before we begin. My parents and I are going on a vacation for about a week/week and a half, and while I will have my laptop to write on, there's a good chance I won't have an Internet connection like I usually do. That means that I will most likely not be posting anything for a while, because a couple days after we get back, I get to pack my stuff together and move back to school, then co-lead a freshman orientation trip... Yeah, loads of busy fun coming up for me. I'll do my best to keep writing, but I apologize in advance if it takes a while. Just know one thing for sure; I love this story and it won't be disappearing anytime soon. :) Alright, now for the story.

Reviews are welcome, but if you criticize, please be nice. I don't take well to flames, pretty though they are.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach or its characters. However, the goofy retorts and my favorite Byakuya line in this chapter are completely mine, and I wouldn't have it any other way. ;) Thank you, Tite Kubo, for creating the masterpiece known as Bleach, which we all like to fantasize about. :)

* * *

-Chapter 16-

With Ichigo trapped in the penalty box for a couple minutes, the Shinigami had an obvious advantage. Byakuya pulled Kanonji into the face-off for an easy win. Orihime, Hinamori and Isane stood off to the side, ready to play.

Ishida dropped the puck. Kanonji swiped at it with his cane but somehow missed, leaving it open for Byakuya to steal. He passed it to Hinamori, since she was a faster skater. Orihime took off after her, knowing that she was the only hope for their team right now.

Isane sped ahead to protect Jidanbou once again, Kanonji right on her heels. "Really now, again? Most people would've learned not to repeat." She pointed her hand backwards. "Bakudou 4, Hainawa, Crawling Rope." The energy rope flew towards Kanonji again.

"You won't get me this time!" He swerved over toward the wall to avoid the binding spell. "I win this round! Bwahaha!"

He was too wrapped up in his success to notice her hand pointing at him again. "Bakudou 9, Geki, Strike." A red light shot from her hand, immediately covering and effectively immobilizing him. _That was too easy,_ she thought, smiling.

"Way to go, Isane!" Kiyone yelled in a wincing Sentarou's ear.

Orihime was in a bind. She was slowly catching up to Hinamori, but her chances of getting the puck back were slim. She wanted to call Tsubaki to help stop her, but the fairy was still angry about being flicked, so there was a chance that if she asked him to stop her that he'd hurt her, and she didn't want that. Her only option was to try and skate faster to catch up before the opportunity to get the puck back disappeared.

Byakuya followed the two girls as best he could, watching out for Hinamori's safety. He appeared satisfied with Momo's progress until he noticed Orihime skating harder in order to catch her. _I won't allow that._

He held up his sword. "Scatter, Senbonzakura." The glowing pink petals slowly formed and danced around him. He held his hand out, palm down, and with a flick of the wrist, the petals flew ahead. They stopped several feet in front of Orihime, where they proceeded to mark and scratch up the ice, under Byakuya's command.

Kira blew his whistle, his arm extended into the air. He skated up to the captain.

"Sorry sir, but we can't allow tampering with the ice. We decided to dub that as 'icing' also, so I must ask you to go to your team's penalty box."

"An icing penalty called on the beautiful tight-ass," Isshin announced.

"Hey, he stole my title!" Yumichika protested.

An unhappy Byakuya glided his way over to the box, tripping on his way in. He sat down on the bench grumpily.

"Well, well," Ichigo said smugly, looking at the captain through the glass divider, "we meet again."

"Cease the moving of your mouth flaps. I am not in the mood for your mediocrity," Byakuya glowered back.

Ichigo looked up to see a good many of Senbonzakura's petals hovering above him, ready to strike. He gulped. "Point made."

"Brother, please calm down," Rukia told Byakuya, her hand on the glass divider between the penalty and team boxes. He relaxed slightly.

"Hey Rukia, can you fix this for us?" Kira asked her, pointing to the spot that Byakuya scratched up.

"Sure thing." She skated out to the spot and created an ice pillar over it. With a quick thrust of Sode no Shirayuki, she shattered the pillar, leaving only a few fragments sticking up from the ice. With Kira's help, the fragments were smoothed down to a nice sheet. Her duty done, she headed back to the box.

Isane and Orihime gathered around Kira for the face-off. Isane was slightly nervous, but Orihime smiled at her. Her tension eased.

Kira threw the puck down and backed off quickly. Isane quickly took it and headed towards Chad, Kanonji once again after her. Hinamori followed her for backup with Orihime right on her tail once again.

"You're persistent, I'll give you that," Isane said over her shoulder, "but that ends now. Bakudou 63, Sajou Sabaku, Chainlike Desert!"

A giant chain shot from her outstretched hand and immediately wrapped Kanonji, covering him from the neck down. All he could do was glide to a stop and watch her skate away.

"No matter," he declared, "I will make a comeback, or else the bad spirits can have me!"

"I thought I told you to be quiet!" Hinamori hollered, ramming her shoulder hard into him again. She followed it up with a swift hit to the head from the flat side of Tobiume.

"Hey, stop that," Orihime chastised. "Sure he's annoying, but you still shouldn't treat him that way." She skated up to him. "Souten Kisshun, I reject." The orange glowing oval surrounded Kanonji, removing the bruises Hinamori had given him.

"Ahh, that feels great," he sighed.

"If you haven't noticed, hitting people is part of the game," Hinamori stated. She gave him several more hits to the head with Tobiume.

"AAA-AAA-AAA!!"

Orihime called out Shun'ou and Ayame again and healed Kanonji.

"Ahh…"

Hinamori hit him again several times, and Orihime healed him.

"AAA-AAA-AAA!! Ahh… AAA-AAA-AAA!! Ahh…"

With the two of them in a constant loop and Kanonji continuously battered and revived, that left Isane still in possession of the puck, unopposed. She skated her way towards Chad.

"Go for it, Isane!" Kiyone cheered.

"Make me proud," Unohana declared in as close to a yell as she could muster.

"Yay," Hanatarou whiningly stated, waving a small white flag.

Their voices startled Isane, who began to panic. _Oh no, not again! Okay, focus Isane. Why are you freaking out? … Afraid of failure in front of them! Okay, calm down. You can do this! Remember, you survived six months with Shuuhei. You survived Shuuhei. You survived Shu… Shuuhei… Shuuhei…_(1)

She slowly calmed down enough to be able to tune out the cheering again and continued on her way. Before long, she found herself standing in front of Chad, who seemed prepared, but a bit unwilling to fight. She took a couple hesitant steps toward him. He braced himself slightly but otherwise didn't move.

"I don't suppose you're going to let me put the puck in there, are you?"

"I don't suppose you could just walk away?" Chad countered.

Isane shook her head. "Afraid not."

"Same here."

"I really need to put this in that goal." She pointed at the puck.

"I really need to protect this goal," Chad stated, unyielding.

"I had hoped for a peaceful resolution…"

"I don't want to fight you."

"But let me guess, you will if you have to."

"Nn," he grunted with a nod.

"Isane, what are you doing? Hit it in!" Kiyone yelled.

Yachiru stood up on the bleacher she had been sitting on. "Hey Braidy Lady, I wanna see some action! You're boring!"

Hisagi dropped his head to meet his hand. "Looks like the pep talk only cured her fright, not her unwillingness to fight."

Ikkaku leaned over the edge of the box. "C'mon Isane, do what's right!"

Renji chimed in. "Fix our plight!"

Yumichika popped all three of them upside the head. "Stop your rhyming babble, you blubbering buffoons, or I'll bludgeon all your butts."

Ikkaku rolled his eyes. "Who's the babbling baboon blubber now?" Yumi groaned.

"I guess there's no other option," Isane stated.

"Nn," Chad nodded again.

"Well then, here I come."

* * *

And now for some wonderfully shameless plugs!

(1) - Small HisagixIsane reference, from Barbellenel's Regression.

I kinda wish I was creative enough to come up with chapter titles. I had thought about doing that recently, but I won't since I know it will confuse people. Plus, I tend to save my creativity for the story itself... Ah well, no big loss, right? :)

Like I said before, I could always use more ideas for everyone to do during the game, so if you think of something please let me know. I do have the final say here but most likely it will be put in. I'm very open to radical ideas and I'm merciful with them. :)


	17. Chapter 17

First off, I am _so sorry_!! The vacation didn't leave me much time to write any more, and then when I got back I had to make sure everything was packed to move up to school. Then I co-led a freshman orientation trip, and since then it's just been busy busy time, so I haven't been able to write more. Luckily I had an extra chapter that I can give you that I wrote before all of this started. I'll even be nice and give you a recap of the last chapter. If you want to remember more then feel free to go back - I won't hold it against you. :)

* * *

-Recap- (If you haven't seen the last chapter then I think it's a given that you should skip this part.)

_After another faceoff, Isane binded Kanonji again. Byakuya got a penalty for trying to trip Orihime by cutting up the ice. Rukia fixed said broken ice, and then once play resumed, Kanonji once again was immobilized, with Hinamori and Orihime stuck in an endless loop of healing and hurting Kanonji. Next, Isane and Chad stared each other down..._

_"I don't want to fight you."_

_"But let me guess, you will if you have to."_

_"Nn," he grunted with a nod._

_"Isane, what are you doing? Hit it in!" Kiyone yelled._

_Yachiru stood up on the bleacher she had been sitting on. "Hey Braidy Lady, I wanna see some action! You're boring!"_

_Hisagi dropped his head to meet his hand. "Looks like the pep talk only cured her fright, not her unwillingness to fight."_

_Ikkaku leaned over the edge of the box. "C'mon Isane, do what's right!"_

_Renji chimed in. "Fix our plight!"_

_Yumichika popped all three of them upside the head. "Stop your rhyming babble, you blubbering buffoons, or I'll bludgeon all your butts."_

_Ikkaku rolled his eyes. "Who's the babbling baboon blubber now?" Yumi groaned._

_"I guess there's no other option," Isane stated._

_"Nn," Chad nodded again._

_"Well then, here I come."_

_--_

And now for the actual chapter! Thank you all for being so patient with me!!

Reviews are welcome, but if you criticize, please be nice. I don't take well to flames, pretty though they are.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach or its characters. Though it would be very fun, especially since I could decorate cakes with them just for fun. What can I say, I like icing. :)

* * *

-Chapter 17-

Isane lifted a foot to skate towards Chad and begin the battle for the goal when a holler rang throughout the rink. "I'm baaack! Didja miss me?" She turned her head to see an orange blur fly past her and swipe the puck.

Ichigo looked back and laughed as he flew the other way. He turned his head forward just as a light green whip stung his face. He winced in pain and shock. "What the hell?"

A newly freed Byakuya took advantage of his created opportunity by stealing the puck back, but not before he rolled up the end of his scarf, which he had refused to remove, and snapped Ichigo in the face with it once more.

Ichigo quickly recovered and caught Byakuya's shoulder. "Isn't fabric whipping a little immature for you, Byakuya Kuchiki?" All he got was an eyebrow raised in response, simply out of amusement. "Alright then. Two can play that game." Ichigo grabbed the green fabric and started twisting it roughly.

"Unhand my neck wrap, boy," Byakuya ordered. "Your incessant attempts to irk me will ruin the expensive and priceless material."

"Too bad. Don't snap someone unless you wanna get snapped back." With that, Ichigo flung the end of the scarf at the noble, grinning evilly. His delight was short-lived, however, as the material lost its momentum and fell limp inches from Byakuya's porcelain-like face. Ichigo gaped as a smirk threatened to dance across the captain's face.

"Fail!" Renji yelled, promptly earning him an elbow in the side from Rukia.

Ichigo was dumbstruck. "Okay, let's try that again…"

"Relinquish my wrap, you persistent pestilence, or I shall be required to remove it painfully from your polluted paws!"

"Not him, too!" Hisagi whimpered, covering his ears.

The whistle blew. "Line switch!"

"Damn," Ichigo grumped, "and I was just freed, too." He turned to Byakuya. "Next time, you're getting a face full of fabric." Byakuya held back the growing smirk as best he could as he turned to get off the ice.

An idea struck Ichigo. He quickly turned around and skated after Byakuya, then grabbed the end of the scarf before the captain had time to protest. With one swift motion, he lofted the fabric into the air, landing it squarely on Byakuya's head, the end dangling in his face. Satisfied, Ichigo skated back to his team box, leaving Byakuya to simmer as he headed back to the box.

"I've been wondering for a while," Ukitake began, "don't the teams normally switch lines while they are playing? How come our teams aren't doing that as well?"

"I believe you are correct about that, Juushirou," Unohana answered. "But, the way I see it, there are two problems with your idea. One, many of these beings out there don't seem to know how to move or shoot that well yet, and two, this is most definitely not a normal game."

"Those wimps. If they were my team, I would've had them speeding around like rockets and scoring every five seconds," Soifon grumbled.

"Buzz off, Queen Bee. You gotta stop being a pest and wishing out loud so I can hear Kenny's battle cry!" Yachiru pouted, moving from her seat to poke Soifon repeatedly.

Infuriated, Soifon jumped to her feet. "And Bubble Gum Hair needs to shut her trap or I'll shut it for her! Come here, you!"

Yachiru took off through the bleachers, Soifon right on her tail. "My hair is cotton candy, not bubble gum!" she yelled behind her.

As the chaos in the bleachers continued, Renji, Rukia, and Zaraki went out onto the ice again, all fully recovered from their previous battle. Karin and Yoruichi followed suit, dragging a reluctant Urahara with them. Though mostly recovered, he was still shaken by the ferocity of the little birds in the rafters and feared for his life should he accidentally provoke them again.

Ishida gathered the teams around. To Renji's dismay, Rukia and Yoruichi took the face-off first before he had a chance to step in. He glanced over to see Karin behind Yoruichi.

"Ichigo's not out here, but you are, and since you're his sister, that makes you Substitute Ichigo! I'll make sure to go easy on you since you're a little girl-"

His speech was cut off by her fist implanting itself in his face. "Just goes to show that all of us Kurosakis pack a punch," she said with a grin.

Renji wiped his face with his hand. "You'll pay for that."

Ishida gathered their attention once more. The puck went down, and Rukia grabbed it quicker than Yoruichi could react.

_I don't know how I managed to beat the Goddess of Flash at speed, but I like it._ Smiling happily, she headed off towards Chad, only to quickly lose her balance and fall backwards in a very Byakuya-esque way. Yoruichi quickly swiped the puck from her and took off in the other direction.

Zaraki, wanting to prove himself this time around, grabbed Renji by the shoulder and told him his idea. Renji looked up and nodded his approval, then took off like a shot after Yoruichi.

Yoruichi looked behind her and saw the redhead coming after her. "Kisuke, Karin, I could use your help right about now!" Karin quickly appeared. "Where's Kisuke?"

"It doesn't matter," Karin answered, "It's pointless, there's no way he'll be helping us. Look."

Yoruichi looked behind her again to see Urahara standing in the middle of the rink, arms crossed and shaking, looking up at the ceiling frantically. He hadn't moved from the spot they had put him in for the face-off.

"Great time to go paranoid on us, Kisuke," Yoruichi muttered under her breath.

"It's okay, you've still got me," Karin stated with a tiny smile.

"No, you don't! Next dance, white ripple!" Rukia's voice echoed through the rink as a giant wave of ice appeared between Karin and Yoruichi, creating the perfect fence.

Karin looked to Yoruichi through the spikes of ice. "I'll just go around. Be right there."

"I don't think so!" Rukia called out again, sending more massive lines of ice down the rink, effectively trapping Karin.

Karin looked at Yoruichi again apologetically. Yoruichi turned to see Renji only a few feet away. He used Zabimaru's end prong to slide the puck out of her grasp and then ran with it back the other way. She swiftly followed him.

Renji flew by the wall and down the rink as fast as he could, with her right on his tail. At the last moment, he summoned as much power as he could to get a speed boost, yelling, "She's all yours!"

Yoruichi turned her head to see Zaraki barreling down on her with as much speed as he could get. "This'll be fun! Hahaha!" he yelled. She tried flash stepping out of the way, but he was too close, and before she knew it, she was meeting the glass pane of the wall face to face.

She struggled to get up as Zaraki unsteadily skated off to join Renji.

"That felt great!" Zaraki growled in satisfaction.

"What a fierce performance, sir!" Renji congratulated him.

"Thanks, boy!" Zaraki clapped him hard on the back. "In return, I'll tell ya my secret to fierceness. The way I see it, the spikier yer hair is, the fiercer ya are. Me, I'm as fierce as they come. Yer on your way with that spiky 'do o' yours. The feathery fruitcake over there ain't, cuz his hair's all flat-like."

Yumichika sneezed daintily. Ikkaku turned to him. "You sure you're not a woman?"

"You gotta have spikes," Zaraki continued. "Hisagi's fierce too; he just don't know it yet. Same with Ichigo, the fierce bastard. But, I'm tellin' ya, that's the key. And one more thing: clown makeup don't cut it either."

Still facing Yumi, Ikkaku suddenly inhaled and then his nose exploded all over the feathered fifth seat.

"Cover your mouth! That's simply disgusting!" Yumichika complained, taking out a moist towelette and trying to clean his jersey.

Ikkaku looked at him with a shrug. "Hey, phlegm happens."

* * *

I will do my best to keep this updated, but I can't guarantee constant posts like my beta Barbellenel can. With the crazy class load I have this semester, involving lots of math and science which unfortunately takes up quite a lot of my time, I won't have the time I need to write. But, I shall do my best. Like I said last chapter, this story isn't going anywhere. It just might take a while, that's all. Thank you again for reading and standing by me. I heart you all!


	18. Chapter 18

Finally, an update! _I am so sorry for the wait!_ College was death for my writing creativity. I had absolutely no time to write during school, but now that it's summer, I have the time. Problem is, I have massive writer's block for this story. I'm really stuck on this one. I have two more chapters after this one, and then I have nothing, so with that said, if you have any ideas on what the characters should do or anything like that, **please tell me! I need ideas!** (I'll give you a hint, I'm now working with Ichigo and Hitsugaya's lines.) I promise, the story will continue, but until I can figure out where to go, Bleached Ice is at a bit of a standstill. :(

Despite the writer's block, I am still writing. I have a new story in the works, so any Kira fans out there will like it (hopefully). It should debut in a couple weeks, if all goes well.

I want to thank everyone that has waited for this story, and those who have reviewed or favorited it in some way. Thank you so much for your patience!!!

Since it's been so long, I'll give you a recap of the last chapter.

-Recap-

_Karin looked to Yoruichi through the spikes of ice. "I'll just go around. Be right there."_

_"I don't think so!" Rukia called out again, sending more massive lines of ice down the rink, effectively trapping Karin._

_Karin looked at Yoruichi again apologetically. Yoruichi turned to see Renji only a few feet away. He used Zabimaru's end prong to slide the puck out of her grasp and then ran with it back the other way. She swiftly followed him._

_Renji flew by the wall and down the rink as fast as he could, with her right on his tail. At the last moment, he summoned as much power as he could to get a speed boost, yelling, "She's all yours!"_

_Yoruichi turned her head to see Zaraki barreling down on her with as much speed as he could get. "This'll be fun! Hahaha!" he yelled. She tried flash stepping out of the way, but he was too close, and before she knew it, she was meeting the glass pane of the wall face to face._

_She struggled to get up as Zaraki unsteadily skated off to join Renji._

--

And now for the new chapter. Enjoy!

Reviews are welcome, but if you criticize, please be nice. I don't take well to flames, pretty though they are.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach or its characters. However, the goofy retorts and Zaraki's fierceness lecture are mine. Thank you, Tite Kubo, for creating the masterpiece known as Bleach, which we all like to fantasize about. :)

* * *

-Chapter 18-

With Yoruichi recovering from Zaraki's wrath, Urahara completely immobilized, Renji trying to escape one of Zaraki's feared "fierceness" lectures, and Karin trapped between a bunch of ice walls, that left Rukia free to take the puck.

As she watched the black haired ice princess work her way past everyone towards the goal, Karin began to worry. _This isn't good, my teammates aren't able to stop her! I've gotta get out of here if we have any chances left! Think, Karin. How do you escape from a blockade of ice? … Salt! That's it! But where am I gonna get some? _She felt a bead of sweat roll down her cheek. _No, that'll take too long. Oh, the heck with it!_ She moved back from the wall slightly, wound her leg back as far as it would go, and with power and speed brought it forward, colliding with the ice and sending chunks of it flying. Two more kicks and an opening formed, allowing her freedom.

Karin zipped over to Yoruichi as fast as she could. "Are you okay? Can you get up?" she asked, putting an arm around Yoruichi.

Yoruichi looked up at her. "I'll be fine, once my vision clears. He really knocked me for a loop, because right now you have a twin."

"Actually, I do have a twin, but that's beside the point. We need to stop her, and fast." Karin pointed to Rukia, who was just now passing the still paralyzed Urahara.

Yoruichi squinted, her vision clearing as she noticed Urahara standing there still, leaving Rukia unopposed. She shook her head. "I warned him. That's what he gets for trying to acquaint himself with the real world more than necessary."

Karin glanced at her. "Huh?"

Yoruichi sighed. "A few months ago Kisuke decided that we hadn't blended into the real world well enough, so he decided that we should rent a horror movie. He said everyone loved horror movies and it would connect us more to the residents of Karakura Town. He sent the kids away with Tessai, who didn't like the idea, so that we could watch it together. I was opposed to it as well, but I sat there with him and warned him that it would come back to haunt him like a persistent Hollow. He wouldn't listen though, and watched the movie all the way through. I ended up falling asleep during it, but when I woke up he only seemed slightly unnerved, still believing that my theory was wrong. But, I was right after all. Now, not only has he seen Alfred Hitchcock's _The Birds_, he's lived it."

"Wow," Karin breathed, "who knew a movie could be so damaging? … Wait, your story gives me an idea." She leaned over to Yoruichi, who nodded. "You feeling well enough to help me on this?"

Yoruichi nodded again. "Don't worry, I can handle this. Besides, I owe a certain captain a little payback later."

"Alright then, let's go!"

Rukia was almost to the goal when a small throwing knife whizzed past her head. She turned around quickly to see Yoruichi with a hand full of knives and Karin with spears of ice taken from her White Ripple attack earlier. The two skated to either side, throwing knives and icicles at Rukia, who slashed and blocked them with Sode no Shirayuki. The repelled projectiles bounced off at every angle; some landed on the ice several feet away, some were imbedded in the walls, and a few flew up to the ceiling, where a couple knives and an ice spear lodged themselves awfully close to a certain nest.

The rafter birds descended once again.

Karin and Yoruichi met again. "Yes!" they announced, high fiving each other.

"NOOOOO!!!!!" Rukia shrieked. "Not again!!!"

Her screams were quickly muffled by the sounds of several squawking aviary creatures as they pecked and clawed her to pieces once more.

"You are so evil," Yoruichi grinned, patting Karin on the head as they took the puck back and skated the other direction.

Karin looked up at her. "You kind of have to be, or at least have a devilish side, in order to survive in our household. Otherwise all of us would be loons, not just the one."

A sneeze echoed through the rink's speakers. "Oops, had the mike turned on."

"There's a lot of sneezing going on today," Isane mumbled absent-mindedly from the team box. "I hope the cold temperatures aren't making people sick."

Ukitake chuckled nervously as the attack progressed. "Let us hope that the birds don't come up here."

Soifon, who had finally stopped chasing Yachiru, dismissed his statement. "Pah. I can handle a few rowdy birds." She smirked and clawed the air in a fake martial arts stance.

"Just eat 'em. Pussycats always like snacks," Yachiru added, promptly causing Soifon to chase her again.

Karin giggled as she and Yoruichi skated past Renji, who was trying to get Zaraki to stop one of his long-winded manly speeches. Seeing the girls going towards the goal made him all the more desperate to get the captain to stop.

"…People always tell me that bells aren't manly. What can I say, I like to give my opponent an advantage 'cause they hear me comin'. Besides, gongs are manly, but I can't exactly strap eleven gongs into my hair, now can I?"

"Sir," Renji interrupted, "I hate to disrupt your monologue and will take all thrashings for it later, but right now we have to stop those two. Plus, it'll involve a lot of checking."

Zaraki cracked his knuckles. "Sounds like a plan. So, time to stop flappin' my gums and start flexin' my muscles. I'll tell ya the rest later."

Renji drooped. "Oh goody."

Zaraki started to follow the girls.

"Wait," Renji called out, "we should get Rukia's help too."

"Ain't gonna work, ya bloody pineapple. Her courage is about as dead as Ikkaku's love life. Take a look fer yerself."

Sure enough, Rukia was completely incapacitated mentally. Having hoisted herself off the ice after the latest bird incident, she had found Urahara in the same freaked-out mental slump. The two of them were now clinging to each other for dear life, eyes practically popping out of their sockets in fear.

"Great, we're gonna have to rehatibilize her again," Renji groaned. "Isane! Please be ready when we come off the ice, okay?"

"I'm on it!" she replied. "And by the way, it's rehabilitate!"

Renji shook his head, sighing. _Medics and their medicky words… _

"Hey, Tattoo-by-Color," Zaraki beckoned, "ya comin' or not?"

"Yeah yeah, I'm coming. I think you've been around Yachiru too much, sir. She's rubbing off on you."

"Nonsense," Zaraki scoffed. "It's just a fluke that those damn number paintin' kits are so interestin'. Now let's go."

By now, Karin and Yoruichi had made their way to Jidanbou and were each taking turns shooting. The giant was doing an excellent job of blocking all their shots, but he needed help and fast.

"Captain Zaraki, sir, if you want to go ahead and take Yoruichi for some more bashing, I'll take care of the girl and the puck."

"Gladly. Bashing is what I do best," he smirked, as he skated wobbly to face the inevitable revenge of the cat woman.

Yoruichi saw him coming out of the corner of her eye. She looked to Karin. "Keep at it. I'm going to go enjoy my payback." She turned and skated towards Zaraki.

With each passing second, their speed rose. Eyes narrowed, expressions grim, they hurtled towards each other, a collision imminent.

Just as they were about to clash, Yoruichi's fiery eyes lit up, eyebrows narrowing even more. "Get ready for some real payba-"

She was cut off as a previously serious Zaraki suddenly lightened up with a huge grin on his face. He quickly jumped at her, tackling her and bringing them both down to the ice as he yelled happily, "Let's wrassle!" (1)

* * *

(1) This is a tribute to Barbellenel's story, The Herculean Tasks of Shuuhei Hisagi. If you haven't read it yet, I highly recommend it. It's had me in hysterics! :)

As I said before, if you have any ideas for this story, please tell me. I need your help!


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